I celebrated two milestones recently, one of which my sister (pictured) came into town for.
I turned 35 years old almost two weeks ago, which was a little surreal.
The thing about turning 35, you can’t say you’re in your “early 30s” any longer. The same thing happened when I turned 25. I felt like I lost something important when I realized I wasn’t in my early 20s any more. You’re in your mid-30s one second, in your late 30s the next. I’m closer to 40 than I am 30.
But that’s life. We grow older. Without old age, you can’t have youth. And so I embrace aging as much as I can. Age has provided me plenty of experience, which is what this article is largely about.
My 35th birthday also happened to coincide with my 3rd anniversary of retiring from the auto industry. The day after my 32nd birthday, in May 2014, I said sayonara to the luxury car dealership I was employed by at the time. And I’ve been essentially “job-free” ever since, focusing on writing, reading, investing, and many other pursuits that add value to my life and the world around me.
So here we are, three years later. It’s year three A.D. (after dealership).
And I felt like this would be a great time to reflect on what the last three years has taught me. There aren’t many people who have the opportunity to spend three years during the peak of their life without the burden of a job.
This article is my chance to share three major lessons about life and money I’ve learned while living without a traditional job over the past three years.
Working And Having A Job Are Very Different
Working and having a job are very different. I used to think they were one and the same. But that was before I experienced both.
Now, the following text (and opinion, which is based on personal experience) is not meant to disparage the idea of having a job. Rather, I’m only providing a viewpoint that expresses how two concepts that are almost universally thought of as synonymous, could actually be a dichotomy.
Having a job is, in my view, just a platform to exchange time for money. All jobs, in aggregate, could be thought of as a gigantic market where everyone goes to exchange money for their time. People literally sell away units of their life for money. That’s pretty much it.
None of that is necessarily a bad thing. Money is needed in order to pay bills. But exchanging one’s time for the express purpose of getting one’s hands on said money is about the worst way possible to go about acquiring money.
Work, on the other hand, is a platform to find purpose and, generally as a result, make the world better. Work is meaningful to the worker – and likely thus to the world. Works makes us better versions of ourselves. Work is interesting. Work is challenging. Work is fun. Work is passionate. Work is frustrating. Work is amazing. Work adds value to our lives.
Work can involve getting paid for one’s time, effort, expertise, and passion. In fact, work can pay far more than a job can. However, work sometimes involves no money at all.
Work is, all in all, a far better way to acquire money, because it’s natural and fun. However, we don’t always (or even usually) get to do what we love – let alone get paid to do what we love.
And so that’s where building up a substantial source of passive income comes into play, which is exactly what I did. Passive income can allow you to forgo jobs, instead focusing only on meaningful work. Passive income takes the pressure off of oneself, eliminating that constant need to produce income. Work then becomes less about the money, more about purposeful value.
I now spend most of my time doing what I love. I work these days. I spend, perhaps, more time being productive now than when I had a job. But it’s production that’s more or less on my schedule. It’s production I truly love. It’s production that is purposeful. It’s production that adds value to my life and others’ lives. Working is very different than jobbing.
I love writing articles, like the very one you’re now reading. I enjoy working with Daily Trade Alert, collaborating on all kinds of neat ideas that are designed to help, inspire, and motivate people by providing actionable ideas. I have a great time checking out financial statements. Coaching is a huge passion of mine. I even have plans to follow up my best-selling book on reaching financial independence, but writing that would be work, not a job. And I’m even pursuing my certification in personal training, which is another path toward adding value to the world by helping others become better (physical) versions of themselves.
Learning the difference between work and a job allowed me to actually realize that I should be seeking out the former instead of the latter. And the consequence of that is that I’m a far happier person than I ever was before.
The Best Luxuries Aren’t Things
Growing up, I had this idea hammered into my brain: the best luxuries in life are shiny things you go out and purchase for lots of money.
Sports cars. Big boats. Mansions. Gold watches. Custom suits.
It took some serious rewiring on my part to figure out that the best luxuries aren’t things at all.
The best luxuries are actually non-things.
I could go out and buy a sports car, or a gold watch, or a custom suit.
But you know what I really cherish? You know what luxury I can no longer live without?
Waking up without an alarm clock.
Waking and going to sleep when I want, setting my own schedule, and working when I’m most productive and inspired, is an incredible luxury that is worth, practically, an unlimited amount of money to me. I honestly don’t know how someone could prefer a mansion over that, unless, of course, you can easily afford both (although I’d probably never personally, as a minimalist, desire a mansion, no matter how much wealth I eventually go on to accumulate).
Other luxuries I truly enjoy?
Exercising and walking my dog without being in a rush (because I’m not either coming home from or going to a job). Giving away money to organizations that matter to me. Lounging at the beach, waiting for sunset on a beautiful afternoon. Going for long walks. Spending hours per day reading, thinking, and conceptualizing. Taking real time to foster ideas.
These luxuries aren’t things. And they don’t cost money.
Yet they simultaneously cost everything, because I was never able to live like this before, when I didn’t have the passive income and meaningful work necessary to spend my time like this.
So the best luxuries can still be expensive. But I’ve found that they’re usually not things at all.
Without Love And Health, Wealth Means Nothing At All
The age-old debate: does money buy happiness?
It does and it doesn’t.
It does because, up to a certain point, money directly and positively impacts happiness. Going from homeless to living in a home, for instance, has a tremendous impact on one’s happiness and overall well-being. But the correlation drops off once the basics are acquired, with happiness then being positively impacted by other aspects of one’s life, like esteem, creativity, and love.
However, most of society fails to see the disconnect in the 1:1 correlation between money and happiness past a certain point, and so they continue to just load up on the initial basics that provided that initial boost by buying more and/or nicer basics.
Where money fails to buy happiness is right there. Right at the disconnect in the 1:1 correlation.
And that’s right where love and relationships enter the picture.
Money is a funny thing when the focus moves from basics like shelter and food to aspects like love and relationships. While money is extremely useful when it comes to putting a roof over one’s head, money isn’t terribly effective at finding true love. In fact, money can sometimes be detrimental to this process, as money clouds one’s ability to determine whether or not the intentions of others are true.
I’ve learned that unlimited wealth can buy unlimited basics. But it cannot buy unlimited love and health. Yet while shelter and transportation can be acquired relatively easily in modern-day America with all of its abundance, love and health can be far more difficult to attain and keep. And so it’s just when you need money that it ceases to be relevant.
I’ve never been reminded of this more than I have been over the last few months, as my long-term relationship with my significant other, Claudia, is, sadly and unfortunately, coming to an end. Our significant differences in age, interests, passions, and general direction have led us down paths that diverge further apart every single day. While we’ve been able to reconcile that for a long time, it was finally time to openly and honestly admit certain truths.
We’re still the best of friends, and she’ll remain (as long as she wants to) in a very tight circle of people I love and trust. She’s an amazing woman. I’ll never say a bad word about her. But thinking the world of someone (and them thinking the world of you) doesn’t mean you’re a good match.
And so here’s a lesson: money is fungible, but love is not.
Losing someone that you love… it feels like a punch to the gut that’s far worse than any financial loss. Yet while money is easy to make back, love is not.
You can be fairly poor and in love, and you’ll probably be okay. Or you can be fabulously rich and hopelessly alone, and you’ll probably be pretty miserable.
Likewise, all the wealth in the world matters not if you lack health. And health is also not something you can go down to the store and purchase. (But wouldn’t it be nice if you could?)
This is something I’m very cognizant of.
Fortunately, I’ve never felt or been as healthy as I am right now. A great deal of luck goes into that, although I spend a substantial chunk of time working on my physical self so that I can be healthy enough to enjoy all that life is offering me right now. So it looks like it’s just that whole love thing I need to work on a bit more.
Conclusion
These are just a few lessons I’ve learned along the way.
It’s been an amazing three-year stretch. Back when I was a poor kid in Detroit, I never in my wildest dreams would have thought I’d be sitting here, at the peak of my youth, enjoying a life that’s been customized for and by me.
Yet all the saving and investing only allowed for the setup. It’s actually all of these little nuances that come to you along the way that add up to a profound gesture. It’s these granular investigations into life that has led me to where I am now. And I’m eternally grateful for all of it.
Perhaps that’s the greatest lesson of all.
I’m grateful.
I’m grateful for all of the opportunities I’ve been given, as well as the opportunities that have not yet come to pass. I’m grateful for spending the last eight years of my life with a really wonderful woman and partner. I’m grateful for the job that allowed me to eventually find work and purpose after I was freed of certain expectations and worries. I’m grateful for all the beauty in this world. I’m grateful for my health. I’m grateful for being able to set my own schedule, which is the greatest luxury I’ve ever had the pleasure of indulging in. I’m grateful for all of the wonderful relationships in my life, all of which add up to more money than I’ll ever have. I’m grateful for love.
What about you? Any great lessons on life and money you’ve learned over the last few years?
Thanks for reading.
Gratz on 3 AD. I hear you about “jobs”. I’m starting to finally build a group of like minded people in my area who want to help others focus on generating passive income. Should be work. Should be fun.
FV,
Thanks, man. Three years in and I’m still just warming up and learning. 🙂
Yeah, jobs are just jobs. They’re not the best way to acquire money, but sometimes that’s all you have. It’s what I had for years. However, one should always be moving toward work, if possible. Financial independence just allows one to work when they want without a ton of concern over compensation.
Best of luck with the project!
Cheers.
I like you Jason, but I now think I’m in love with your sister, she’s beautiful. 😉
Freddy,
She’s far more beautiful and photogenic than I’ll ever be!
Cheers.
Hey Jason,
Thank you for the continued unfiltered picture into your life. Definitely one of the reasons I keep coming back. My heart breaks for you re the SO.
It is interesting that each time you’ve separated from her your family comes back into your life. I hope that their expectations are more tempered this time around. You are in my prayers.
Will you be staying around Florida or moving?
M Bowden,
Thank you. Really appreciate that. My heart breaks, too. But if you really love someone, you want them to be as happy as they can be. And sometimes you’re not the right fit for that process to occur. If so, you need to be honest about whether or not it makes sense to stay.
Family members that left my life years ago won’t be coming back around anytime soon, which is my choice. I only publicly shared a rather small aspect of the reasoning behind that – the resentment felt toward me and my success. But there were far more nefarious things afoot which will remain private for a number of reasons (not to mention these things have nothing to do with money or financial independence). Suffice to say, certain people I held in high regard really disappointed me by turning out to be absolutely disgusting people. I just haven’t been blessed with a good family (other than the one I built with Claudia), but I have been blessed in many other ways. I’m still lucky in many ways. It could be a lot worse.
I’ll be staying here in Florida for the foreseeable future. I’ve thought a lot about it, actually. There are places that are appealing to me. I really like Portland, for example. And I even gave the idea of moving abroad serious consideration. But Florida has been so good to me. The weather is great, the taxes are low, the COL is reasonable, the beaches are beautiful, and the opportunities are there. It’s not a perfect place, but I haven’t yet come up with an idea that is superior from a benefit/drawback perspective. Plus, Florida has helped get me here. So it has a special place in my heart.
Thanks for dropping by!
Best wishes.
I am sorry to hear that you and Claudia are ending it. Best of luck to you both. Thank you for shearing your story.
I am grateful to have found you and your websites. I learn so much from you. Thank you
FV,
Happy to share if it means that I’m able to help and/or inspire others. 🙂
Cheers!
Beautiful words
Thank you
Miriam,
Appreciate you taking the time to read. 🙂
Cheers.
Hi Jason,
First time ever commenting on a post; I only recently (~2 months ago) discovered your blog and overall story. You are such an inspiration to me! I have spent hours reading past blog posts, and I really want to say thank you for being as open as you are about everything you’ve gone through and accomplished. I have much more to read and learn, but it’s very exciting. I’m much later to the game than you (44 yrs old) but I am still determined to figure out this financial independence thing and start spending my time the way *I* want to spend it, rather than at a job I don’t enjoy. I’m terribly out of shape, too, so I have two big goals to tackle… in fact, I could probably use your personal training skills much more than the financial stuff at this point! 😉 LOL Too bad I’m not in FL! (Wish you luck in that new endeavor as well, though I know you won’t need it.)
At any rate, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry to hear about you and Claudia, though you both definitely seem to be handling it in a mature and loving way, with great respect for each other. Having been through an amicable divorce myself (still friends 13 yrs later), it’s so much better when you can honestly recognize that maybe you’re just not meant to be with that person long term, but you still love them and wish them well. While it’s still painful to separate from someone you love, it makes it less stressful when there isn’t that animosity. I wish you both the best as you move on.
I just want to say thanks again for all you do, and I look forward to reading more and getting more inspiration! Keep it up!! 🙂
-Emily
Emily,
Thanks so much. Really appreciate the kind words of support!
So glad to know that you’ve been positively impacted and inspired by my transparency and results. That’s really why I write. I write to share, help, motivate, and inspire. I’ve been so fortunate in so many ways, so I feel like I’d be remiss if I didn’t give back to the world. If I can help others become better and happier versions of themselves, I can’t pass that up. And that kind of speaks to what happened with our relationship. We both want to be happier and better versions of ourselves. It just so happens that us being together is a detriment to that. But we’re still very close. She’s just a fantastic woman. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner over the last eight years. And I couldn’t ask for a better friend.
I wish you nothing but the best of luck as you march toward a wealthier and healthier version of yourself. It’s so exciting to see those results take shape in real-time. I’m sure you’re just going to love it. Being able to live life on your terms is the most amazing luxury I can possibly think of. 🙂
Best wishes!
Good stuff.
“Likewise, all the wealth in the world matters not if you lack health…”
You almost sounded like Yoda there.
Jack,
Yoda knew his stuff! 🙂
Cheers.
Hi Jason sorry to hear about your break up with you and Claudia. Hope you are doing well emotionally and physically. Best wishes to you
Cheers
Michael,
I’m doing very, very well. Thank you for that. 🙂
It’s all part of the journey of life. I’m very excited to experience what’s next!
Best regards.
Jason – I’m sorry to hear that you and Claudia went your separate ways. I have no further comment to make on the “can money buy happiness/love” argument as I agree wit everything you mentioned. Money and financial freedom are one piece of the equation, and only one piece. The other piece of the equation is finding the people to spend time with and finding the activities that you want to do. You won’t always know if that one person is the right person to enjoy money and freedom with until that time comes.
Thanks for sharing your other two lessons as well, I know I focused on lesson number 3 first. Congrats on the big three year anniversary and happy belated birthday!
Bert
Bert,
Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry about. She’s great. I’m great. We’re both very happy. It’s just a situation where we want different things out of life. Doesn’t make either of us right or wrong. Only different. 🙂
Appreciate the support. Really looking forward to learning a few more lessons over the next three years.
Cheers!
Doesn´t matter how much you´ve got your s**t together or how amicably you split ut, breakups are HARD! This just happened to a friend of mine, he is pretending he is ok with it, but I can see he´s hurting. You´ll both feel better with time though 🙂 Best wishes!
Tom,
Yeah, definitely. It still hurts, even though we’re still very close and still love each other. It’s never easy to lose someone in that capacity. And that was kind of the third point of the article. Wealth means very little with no love in your life. And money isn’t a very good tool to go out and find love.
So one should always aim to love and be open to love. It’s far more meaningful than money. 🙂
Best regards.
Hi Jason,
Your posts are always topical and thought provoking. I have been on a similar path to you (albeit I am a decade older), starting ‘work’ and ending the ‘job’ in 2013. While infinitely better, it is not always as simple as one imagines it will be like when you can stop going to a job.
One of the the biggest changes which I have experienced, and one that you could perhaps write more on in future as I would be interested to know your views, is how your relationship changes with a life partner. You can sleep in, they cant, you could go travelling for 3 months, they get two weeks a year off. It is not their fault necessarily, but your life is compounding quicker and quicker, leaving them further behind financially. Until one is perhaps fabulously wealthy and can totally support them, in my experience it can lead to frustration on one side, and resentment on the other.
When you have time one day, perhaps you could devote a post to this, and what the solution may be to a widening gap in finances, time, knowledge etc
Thank you,
DT
DT,
Well, the financial independence/money/personal finance stuff hasn’t directly impacted our relationship that much. Claudia met me right as I was transforming into this new person, so she’s been there the whole time. It wasn’t like we were great/normal for a few years and then this whole thing really put a drag on our relationship after it started. There have been some impacts (mostly due to different schedules), but it’s just really a very small part of the bigger picture.
I see the financial stuff as really a manifestation of who I am. But it just so happens that who I am (as an entire person) is very different than who Claudia is. She tells me all the time how atypical I am. And I kind of take pleasure in that. She’s a far more typical person, all in all. Nothing wrong with either outlook. They’re just different. We were likely to run into issues over the long haul no matter what, even if I had never walked this path.
That said, I’ve already done my best to cover the drawbacks of early retirement/financial independence (from my own personal perspective). You can check it out here:
https://www.mrfreeat33.com/three-potential-major-drawbacks-to-early-retirement/
Hope that helps!
Best wishes.
Great thoughts. At least you seem to have one family member still in your life there. Are you still on good terms with the sister?
Jay,
I would hope we’re still on good terms. Otherwise, she wasted a good chunk of money on traveling down here. 🙂
Cheers.
Jason,
Great positive outlook, in spite of your personal troubles (ending relationships suck – sorry about that). I agree with the view you layout, especially on two things – pets and time / luxuries. My dog is very much like yours, he is glued to my hip the second I walk in the door.
With regards to luxuries, they don’t always make for the best enjoyment of time. Some of the most fun I have is playing board games at my house or sports on the weekends, or just hanging out cooking around the grill. No fancy cars, clothes, or other things can really add to what is already there. Just good memories.
Happy birthday to you as well, mine is right around the corner.
– Gremlin
DG,
Couldn’t agree more. To add to your point, I think many of those luxuries actually subtract value to one’s life, instead of adding value. That old saying about things owning you typically rings true when you add a bunch of unnecessary noise to your life.
Happy early birthday. I hope it’s as fantastic as mine was! 🙂
Best regards.
So sorry to hear you and Claudia are parting ways. Glad you guys can part as friends at least, too many relationships these days devolve into petty arguments. Can’t believe it’s already been three years since financial freedom.
DD,
The ending of a relationship is a pretty good test of just how much you care about someone, in my view. I’ve seen some relationships devolve into nasty territory. If you really care about someone, I’m not sure how/why things would be like that, unless one party went out of their way to hurt the other.
But we’re still the best of friends. She’s just an amazing woman. I’m fortunate. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
Cheers.
It is sad to hear the news about your relationship with Claudia and you are brave to share this (and everything else you share) in such a public way. I wish you the best as you go through such a personal change.
Dennis,
Thanks so much. Really appreciate that. 🙂
The only constant in life is change. It’s then up to us to use that change to our advantage and learn from it.
Best regards.
Hello Jason,
thank’s for sharing your story of “life and investing” in such detail. In January 2016 i read your book and it opened my eyes concerning saving money. I follow your blog since and your articles are always worth reading and thinking about – the article “the true cost of expenses” was amazing…How fast you got from zero to being financially independent shows what is possible and is motivation for me. And i know some people in Germany and Austria who are inspired by your story too. – Keep it up!!
Greetings form Germany,
DividendSolutions
DS,
Appreciate that so much. I wouldn’t write/share like I do if it weren’t for really supportive readers from all over the world. Knowing that I’m helping, motivating, and inspiring others out there to make positive changes in their lives makes it all worth it for me. Being able to positively impact people with my words and experiences is just one more thing I’m extremely grateful for. 🙂
Best wishes.
Sorry to hear about you and Claudia, but glad to see you hit the three year mark of being job-free. You must feel better than you’ve ever felt in your life. And admit it: while you didn’t mention it and it’s certainly not the main purpose of your journey to financial freedom, it must feel great to make all the naysayers from your Dividend Mantra days eat their words.
Or maybe I’m just vindictive.
When you were explaining the difference between “work” and a “job”, I couldn’t gel but think of professional wrestling. In pro wrestling, losing is referred to as “jobbing” (because you “did the job”), and C-listers who are just on the roster to lose to others are referred to as “jobbers”.
I find it to be quite fitting. Time to work my way up from being the Brooklyn Brawler to being John Cena.
I don’t know the details of you and Claudia’s relationship other than what you’ve written, but maybe you two will get back together. It happened before. Or not. Maybe you won’t. At least you two parted on good terms.
Sincerely,
ARB–Angry Retail Banker
ARB,
I definitely feel better than ever, other than losing a really wonderful partner. I mean, the rest of my life couldn’t be better. I’m just incredibly happy almost every single day. Maybe I have low expectations. I don’t know. But I know I was, overall, pretty bummed out, stressed, and overworked for years. Now I’m none of those things. So I’m just blessed and grateful.
That’s an interesting thought there, re: the naysayers. I guess I never really let them bother me. In that regard, there’s nothing for me to prove or anything. I never fed trolls or allowed negative people in my life. If a dumb comment or email comes my way, it goes in the trash. I have no time for the haters. The only person I ever wanted to prove right was myself. I hold myself to pretty high standards. So when I fail, I feel terrible. But when I succeed, I feel amazing. My only benchmark is my best, so proving naysayers wrong (or right) was never really on my mind. Just never felt any pressure from outside parties. Besides, naysayers will always be naysayers. You prove them wrong on one thing, then they find something else to doubt.
Wish you the best of luck fighting your way up from the Brooklyn Brawler to John Cena. If you give it your all, I’m sure you’ll absolutely crush it. Hard work is powerful, but it’s even more so with belief.
Best regards.
Hi Jason,
I’m glad that I did see the light early in life so I can enjoy life instead of worrying about paying my bills or have shelter for my family.
GD,
Same! 🙂
Cheers.
Hey Good luck with the next 3 years after AD and 35, lol. Life has a way of making things right eventually. I am in a funk lately with the site, but hopefully will find some motivation to take it to another level. The ups and downs make life that more interesting.
RichUncle EL,
Thanks, man. I’m super excited for what the next three years will bring all of us. I do know that hard work goes a long way, and I’m still working really hard over here (on things I enjoy). So I’m very optimistic about the future. 🙂
Cheers!
Of course I express my sympathies regarding your break-up. May I ask the financial effects, such as the rent no longer being split 2 ways? I assume you’ll have a wise plan regarding such effects. I was never willing to tolerate a roommate even though it would really help splitting costs.
Freddy,
Some costs will go up. Some will go down. Rent is one that will naturally increase, as we’ll no longer be splitting it in half. But I won’t be single forever. Moreover, my overall income significantly exceeds my overall expenses, so it’s not particularly concerning, especially in the short term. Money (in terms of paying my bills) is actually one of the last things I worry/think about these days, which is what most of these articles (including this one) are pretty much about. Of course, it took a lot of work to get here, which is why I’m always trying to inspire others to get to this point.
Cheers!