Fear.
Its confines us. Restrains us. Compels us.
Fear is a powerful and wonderful emotion.
Indeed, fear has often been necessary throughout human history. It’s an innate and important emotion because during most of the centuries humans have been walking this planet, we’ve had to be very cautious and fearful in order to simply make it through the day.
Modern-day society as we now know it hasn’t existed that long, relatively speaking.
Yet evolution is a rather slow process. And so fear is just as gripping as it’s ever been.
However – I’m not sure whether it’s my nature or nurture – I’ve just never been a fearful person at all. There’s almost nothing in this life I fear. This is perhaps just as much a weakness as a strength, but I’ve done my best to use it to my advantage.
I was compelled to write this article because almost every single time I’ve heard from someone who is somehow holding back from unlocking their true potential (be it through financial independence or other means), it seems to me that their apprehension is dripping with fear.
And so I want to address the rationality of fear today.
I’m going to do this via the narratives of two major, life-changing paths that I’ve walked, each of which are paths less traveled due to fear (among many other factors, potentially).
Financial Independence
Financial independence is the platform upon which I’ve built my life. The five-figure passive dividend income that my six-figure dividend growth stock portfolio generates for me pays for my basic expenses in life, allowing me to spend my time on far more meaningful pursuits than figuring out how to pay the rent. And so I can add immense value to the world, which results in immense value (financial and otherwise) being added back to my life.
But this didn’t happen overnight.
It involved a lot of sacrifice and struggling. While I eventually came to find real value and contentment in frugality, I had to radically change my life through a series of steps.
I moved from Michigan to Florida. Sold my car in favor of riding the bus. Ate a lot of ramen noodles and PB&J. Learned how to enjoy free activities, like hitting the beach. Embraced my inner introvert through an introspective, quiet, and thoughtful life.
And this was all while working 50+ hours per week at my day job and simultaneously blogging full time.
Creating as large a gap as possible between income and expenses (through the aggressive boosting of the former and reduction of the latter) allowed me to routinely save well over half of my net income… for years. And I’m still spending less than half of my net income.
But it wasn’t all roses and rainbows. There were times when things were really tough.
Eating ramen noodles over and over again wasn’t the most fun thing ever. Missing the bus and having to run as fast as I could (at 6:30 a.m., no less) to the station in order to catch it so that I could get to work on time was less than enjoyable. Getting six (or less) hours of sleep for years on end sucked.
However, I can say that I never feared any of it.
I was never scared that anything I was doing wasn’t right or wasn’t somehow better than any other alternative. I committed myself 100% to the cause, knowing deep down inside that what I was doing was right for the betterment of my long-term sanity and happiness.
And the most important aspect of all is this: I was never afraid of failure.
Even after retiring from the automotive industry at 32 years old – quitting my job and giving up the associated income decades before most people – I was never scared of how things would turn out.
Do you know why this is?
It’s quite simple.
I asked myself a very straightforward question.
That question is…
What’s the worst that can happen?
That’s such a powerful question to ask yourself whenever you’re confronted with fear.
What I realized when I asked myself this question is that my worst-case scenario was quickly becoming a prior best-case scenario.
I imagined in my head what would happen if some kind of calamity were to befall me.
Let’s say my entire portfolio evaporated within five years of quitting my job. I’m 37 years old and broke. I’m no longer financially independent.
What a bummer.
However, my only real choice at this point would be to go back to my old job. I’d have to dust off the ol’ resume, make up an excuse as to why I hadn’t worked in a few years, and find myself a jobby job. Perhaps I’d find a different industry to work in, like the fitness industry. Nonetheless, I’d have to quickly adapt to an employer-employee dynamic all over again.
But check this out.
That kind of worst-case scenario (seeing all of my hard-earned dreams disappear) would result in me going back to what I was already doing before I started chasing after financial independence. I’d be in the same situation that most other people – people who let fear hold them back – are already experiencing every single day.
My prior best-case scenario (jobbing for a living) is now my worst-case scenario. Failure for me is having to go back to work, which is a situation that is more or less the ceiling for most other people. Yet my potential upside – living an amazing life on my terms at a very young age – is absolutely incredible.
When I frame my mindset in this way, any fear I might have completely melts away. There’s nothing to be scared of, other than being scared and letting fear truly hold me back from reaching my potential as a human being.
Becoming A Dividend Expat
Achieving financial independence is wonderful.
But maximizing financial independence is way more awesome.
It’s the pursuit of growing as a person, improving my life, and enjoying amazing experiences that drives me these days (rather than the pure ongoing accumulation of more wealth). And it’s this pursuit that partly drove me to become a dividend expat, unleashing even more potential and adding on to what I already built in the United States. Geographical arbitrage is an appealing idea for so many reasons (not all of which are financial).
However, this idea involved me moving more than 9,000 miles away – far from anything and everything that I’ve ever known.
I now live in Chiang Mai, Thailand, which is a place that is very much unlike anything that exists in the US. But as I’ve already discussed, I view the differences between cultures as one of the best things about living here.
Many people might look at my move and totally freak out about even the thought of moving across the world to some strange place.
Is this fear holding them back?
Each person has to answer that question for themselves, but I’d argue that fear definitely plays a part for most people.
And so this is another case where I asked myself the same question I always do whenever I’m about to make a major decision in my life.
What’s the worst that can happen?
Let’s say I move to Thailand and hate it. Let’s say it’s a place that makes me truly miserable. Let’s say I find myself in a place, 9,000 miles away from “home”, wishing I could just go back to what’s comfortable.
Check this out.
I can book a ticket back to the United States. And then I get on a plane and fly back. It’s quite simple.
My new worst-case scenario (having to move back to the States) was my prior best-case scenario (living in the States).
If I were to let fear hold me back from trying out the dividend expat lifestyle, I’d be in the position that most of my countrymen are in.
As such, I see the only thing to fear is fear.
This is especially true when one’s new downside is one’s prior upside. Once you reset your baseline expectations in life with each progression forward as a human being, you realize that there’s very little to fear about the idea of “failure”. That’s because “failure” likely would involve simply moving back to a prior point in time and personal evolution. When you keep raising the bar, you limit the distance you can possibly fall.
Moreover, when you see that an idea could have incredible upside relative to almost no downside, you begin to see fear as this silly emotion that can be totally cast aside.
Conclusion
What’s the worst that can happen?
This is such a powerful and valuable question to ask yourself whenever you’re confronted with fear.
It’s one of my favorite questions to ask myself whenever I’m at a fork in the road.
Now, it’s not always a situation where one’s new downside is one’s prior upside. Sometimes fear is a good thing. But it’s important to discern between when fear is holding you back and when fear is protecting you. If you confuse fear with protection all of the time, you’re probably going to severely limit your potential and success in life.
And I think the above question is a great litmus test that can help one clear up any confusion.
Finally, I think fear manifests itself due to the unknown, which would involve change. Change is something so many people fight, yet change is the only constant in this life. If you embrace change, rather than constantly fight it, you’ll probably be surprised at just how little you end up fearing. And you’ll also probably end up pleasantly surprised with just how much change can benefit you and your personal growth.
What do you think? Do you ever let fear hold you back? Do you find the question I propose as valuable?
Thanks for reading.
Image courtesy of: Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
P.S. If you’re ready to confront your fears and make your dreams come true, check out some resources that are designed to help almost anyone become wealthier, more free, and perhaps even financially independent.
I love my job, but sometimes I have a fear about what will happen if I need to leave the job. I grew up in an extremely ‘financially’ poor family in a third world country and moved to Canada in my early twenties. The fear of financial insecurity is natural for people like me.
That fear of financial insecurity did not hold me back; instead push me forward to look for opportunities. After building a sizable portfolio with high quality dividend growth stocks, I feel bit of secure and happy about my future.
As you said “Fear is a powerful and wonderful emotion” if you use it correctly.
FJ,
Yeah, day jobs are hard to leave, especially if you have a false perception of safety. Canada might be a bit different regarding their labor rules, but there’s often nothing stopping from an employer canning an employee at any time in the States. As such, I realized early on that a job paycheck is one of the most unsafe and unreliable income sources of all. And it’s the only one many people rely on. I’d rather have 100+ income sources that are far more reliable.
I hear you about growing up poor. I grew up in abject poverty. But it’s something I’m grateful for. It’s continued to push me past ordinary comfort zones. It motivates me to this day to become better, brighter, and more financially secure. And it doesn’t take that much to make me happy these days. Growing up without regular access to food gives you a different perspective on things.
Thanks for dropping by!
Best regards.
“I was never afraid of failure.”
Do you think having dependents would have changed this? What’s the worst that can happen is no longer about dealing with the consequences yourself.
It was something I thought about when planning to start a family.
What’s the worst that can happen was a valuable question I asked myself. I found it motivated me to put reasonable protections in place. The key was being honest with myself about the risk of failure and the consequences. I think the important thing was the fear I felt did not paralyze me from acting. Had I given into fear I may have never started a family.
In the end the worst thing that can happen is nothing.
KM,
That’s an interesting, but strange, question. I had a family the whole time I did this. I had a significant other who I was with for almost eight years, and she had a son who lived with us. Having people who depended on me only pushed me harder to be the best person I could be. And I’m now dating someone who relies on me to a degree here in Thailand.
The moral of the story here is the same whether you are single, married, have or do not have children, etc.
Cheers!
Seneca said that “we suffer more in imagination than reality” and this post hits on the very same thought. It’s incredible how much fear holds us back in life if we let it.
I’m going to nerd out here for a second Jason, but do you know the Litany Against Fear from the Dune book series?
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
This helped me get through rappelling off cliffs, throwing grenades, and boxing dudes 40 lbs heavier than me.
Great post, Jason!
Moose,
I’m familiar with the Seneca quote. Couldn’t agree more. People spend way too much time imagining the worst, instead of realizing that the odds are far greater that amazing things will happen. I think this is intrinsic to the human condition, though, for better or worse. There’s a reason why Seneca and I (and many others, I’m sure) have noted this phenomenon, centuries apart from one another. Just doing my part to shake things up and provide some inspiration. 🙂
I’ve never come across the book series, but I’m with you 100% on this stuff. You just can’t possibly achieve amazing things in life if you’re going to let fear hold you back. Fear is sometimes a good thing. But people tend to hide behind it way too often. To each their own, I say. But it is a shame!
Thanks for sharing.
Best wishes.
Hi Jason, There is a whole chapter centered around that question in Dale Carnegie’s book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. He tags on 2 additional steps that you allude to in your post. Prepare to accept the worst if you have to and then calmly proceed to improve upon the worst case. Tom
Tom,
I wasn’t aware of that, but I like his way of thinking! 🙂
Yeah, you have to prepare to accept the worse. But I found the worst-case scenario awfully easy to swallow and prepare for when I saw that my previous upside was more or less in line with my new downside. And if something doesn’t work out, you go back to the drawing board. That’s just an opportunity to grow as a person, learn from your mistakes, and try again. If I let fear hold me back, I wouldn’t be where I’m at.
Thanks for sharing!
Best regards.
I totally agree! If the worst downside is that a person would have to go back to their old job, then I would add this. When those around us splurge on a huge pickup truck, large home, or other financed extravagance, they are eliminating their best possible UPSIDE in life. They are losing the possibility to live the life of choice, guaranteeing to be locked into their current state for years to come. That’s an extremely poor trade off to me, all for a slightly more comfortable vehicle or more bedrooms in the house.
JayP,
Right. It’s all about upside and downside. Every single time a choice is going to be made (with its related consequences considered), I look at my upside relative to my downside. And I try to maximize the former while limiting the latter. The great thing is that growing and evolving as a person keeps moving the bar, meaning your downside keeps getting reset to a degree. It’s a wonderful way to approach life, in my view. 🙂
Cheers!
Really good post, keep up on your work. You are my hero and inspiration.
Love from sweden
Anom,
Thanks so much. Really appreciate that. Means a lot to me! 🙂
Best wishes.
Jason, it’s impressive that you are psychologically primed to make your relocation to Thailand a major success. It is this attitude that sets you apart from several other Americans – most people are so risk-averse. Some are so set in their ways that they don’t take a different route to work or back home in their daily jobs, which would help them explore their home city’s diversity and neighborhoods a bit more.
I have a major move coming up as well – stay tuned to my blog by end of this month for that post.
TFR,
Yeah, I honestly couldn’t be happier over here. It’s exceeded my wildest expectations. But a big part of this is because I decided to leave fear behind a long time ago. I didn’t really bring any baggage with me (literally and figuratively).
A major move sounds exciting. I can only hope your change turns out as successful (or more) than mine! 🙂
Best regards.
Great motivational post! People do let fear and uncertainty stop them from making positive changes! But if you really don’t like a change it’s often reversible.
Recently we took in a homestay to save more money. Having another person live with us made us realize we didn’t like the loss of freedom. Now the homestay has moved out and we can say “tried it, not for us.” And life goes on.
LD,
Absolutely. I find fear of change so interesting because not only is your new downside often your previous upside, but going back to the prior spot in life isn’t often all that difficult. As I noted in the article, if I didn’t like living in Thailand, it’s super easy to just go somewhere else (or come back to America). People get stuck in their bubbles, though. I find it kind of fascinating and sad, but I’m doing what I can to inspire and motivate! 🙂
Cheers!
You worst case isn’t bad at all. Your job skill will still be good after 5-10 years off. That’s different from me. I’ve ER for over five years now and I can’t go back to my old job. My skills are all outdated now. I’d need to go back to school if I want to go back to engineering. Luckily, I’m doing perfectly well and don’t need to go back to my engineering career. I think the worst case is tougher for highly skilled jobs like engineering and medical.
I hope you’re enjoying Chiang Mai. Did you have fun with Loy Kratong? I wish I was there.
Best wishes
-Joe
Joe,
That’s a good point. The ease of going back likely varies depending on the type of job, but I think averages will probably prove out okay here. On the plus side, having an extra barrier to entry (going back) would just motivate one more to move forward. On the other side, your worst-case scenario just changes a bit (i.e., having to get new certifications, ongoing education, etc.).
Chiang Mai is great. Just got back home after a night out on the town. I literally could not be happier. The festival was great. I posted some pictures on my social media from the event. It was so special and magical. 🙂
Thanks for dropping by!
Best wishes.
Well said. Very inspirational. You blog has made consider other possibilities. I,am living my worst outcome, the worst thing is that I would have to go back to work if early retirement went wrong. I am also considering taking a year off, then going back to work.
How is it living in a country where you don’t know the language? Is there alot of other expats there?
Thanks for the blog
David
David,
I say to each their own, and the worst-case scenario will obviously look a bit differently depending on how you view different possibilities and how difficult it is to move backward. But I was quite unhappy with my day job a few years ago. So that provided me plenty of impetus to make a jump. If I wouldn’t have disliked my job so much, that might have shifted my views a bit. Nonetheless, the overarching point still remains the same. If you’re not terribly pleased with things now, then there is likely very little downside for you (especially relative to the new upside).
Living in Thailand is fantastic. I’m doing my best to share my experiences via the articles I’ve been writing on it. The language barrier isn’t that big of a deal. And there are quite a few people from all over the world staying/living/traveling here.
Cheers!
Jason,
This topic made me think of or analyze my fear a bit. I think that many people here have a certain degree of fear because we epxerienced the worst financial crisis in our generation. I alwasy ask myself the same question. Can we survive if another financial crisis like the previous one hits us?
I strongly believe that having some financial fear helps me spend money wisely, save money, and prepare for another financial crisis. I totally live on numbers and analyze our income and spendings every month as well as our investment. I save half of my unearned income because of the fear I still face. I am still a rookie in this field and am learning this lifestyle. I will feel much more relaxed after a few more years or so.
BTW, we will be on vacation w/o any Internet connection for 2 weeks. I will check your blog after we come home.
ER2019,
I’m with you there. Being fired during the depths of the financial crisis made me realize just exactly how fickle a job/paycheck can be. And it was the catalyst I needed to start down this path. I’m thankful for that. And it totally realigned my idea of fear and what’s right/wrong to fear. I’m now in a much better position to survive another crisis without my income being impacted in such a direct, immediate, and substantial way.
Also, growing up poor has instituted a degree of fiscal responsibility/appreciation that I might not have if my childhood were otherwise different/better.
Have fun on the vacation!! 🙂
Best regards.
I love that question ” what’s the worst that can happen?” Is so powerful and so true. I hear people all the time that are afraid to take a chance on something because fear holds them back. But the reality of everything is that people make things into a bigger deal then they actually are. I have always been the opposite when it comes to this mentality and I have never been afraid to try things on my own. In the end what’s the worst that can happen? I mess something up and then in the end I just have to fix it again? Doesn’t seem like that bad of a thing to me =)
DD,
We’re definitely on the same page. 🙂
When I think of a worst-case scenario, I instead think of the regret I might have if I miss out on my potential. I fear missing out on what could happen if I don’t take that leap of faith and grow as a person. That’s what scares me.
Thanks for dropping by!
Cheers.