I’m not the richest guy around.
Far from it.
But with my FIRE Fund worth almost $400,000, and pumping out more than $13,500 per year in dividends, I’m relatively wealthy for a 36-year-old guy.
That’s especially true considering the fact that I quit my job at 32.
I gave up millions of dollars in favor of FIRE. In fact, I stopped chasing money and aggressively accumulating assets years ago. I decided my life wouldn’t be about an endless obsession with pieces of bartering paper. And it’s a decision I don’t regret at all.
Now, the average American would love to get their hands on almost $400,000. No doubt about that.
But how long would it last them?
I think we already know the answer to that question. One needs to look no further than the average lottery winner.
The reason why many people fail to build wealth and/or make their money last is because they buy too much stuff.
Americans aren’t broke because they don’t make enough money. Americans are often broke because they spend too much. More money in their pockets would only cause an equal, or greater, increase in their spending. That’s marginal propensity to consume at play.
The Millionaire Next Door is such a great book because it exposes you to a simple truth: sustainable long-term wealth is built upon a foundation of relative frugality.
Living Frugally And The “Sacrifice”
I’ve been living relatively frugally for many years now. It’s practically part of my DNA at this point, as I basically value value.
Warren Buffett has said it best:
Whether we’re talking about socks or stocks, I like buying quality merchandise when it is marked down.
I like a good deal when it comes to time to buy something I want or need, regardless of how much money I have. Hell, rearranging my last name spells BE FIRE. I was practically built for this lifestyle.
Still, living frugally implies a certain sense of sacrifice.
Not spending money on things you desire today in favor of something you (more strongly) desire later means you’re delaying gratification. That’s the sacrifice.
I’ve long argued that the “sacrifice” that FIRE involves is far less of a sacrifice than needing a job for most of your life. I still stand by that argument. It’s as true today as it’s ever been.
However, I’ve felt that sense of sacrifice less and less over time, until it’s basically disappeared from my life.
Even though I still spend very little money on a regular basis (no doubt greatly aided by geographic arbitrage), I don’t ever get the urge to spend more. I don’t ever think that spending much more money would make me much happier. There’s basically no sense of sacrifice at all in my life.
Indeed, I lack a certain something that makes me far richer than my ~$400,000 would seemingly make me.
I believe it’s my “secret sauce”.
And I believe that almost anyone out there can tap into this “secret sauce” for themselves. Once you know what it is, you should be able to take advantage of it in your own life.
This “secret sauce” makes the process of achieving FIRE much easier.
Moreover, it significantly increases the sense of satisfaction and enjoyment that you’ll feel in your post-FIRE life.
And it’ll make you far, far richer than you could otherwise ever could or would be.
A Lack Of Desire For Most Things In Life
The “secret sauce” is…
I lack desire for most things in life.
This quality has a profound impact on my life. I actually would go so far as to say it’s one of my biggest competitive advantages over most other people walking the planet. It’s kind of a superpower.
Having a lot of money doesn’t necessarily make you rich. If your desire for and spending on things is equal to, or greater than, your income and wealth can sustain, you’re actually poor. Just ask Johnny Depp about that.
I feel immensely rich not because I have a ton of money; my wealth is greater than it appears to be because I genuinely don’t desire most of the expensive goods and services in life that most other people are chasing.
This concept goes way further than just spending below your means or sacrificing on your spending.
I’m quite literally saying that I don’t desire to buy the stuff that most people spend a great deal of their resources buying and/or owning. I could have billions of dollars, yet I still wouldn’t want this stuff. It has zero value to me.
This is a very powerful concept.
There are two ways to be rich: one is by acquiring much, and the other is by desiring little.
-Jackie French Koller
It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.
-Seneca
The man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
-Henry David Thoreau
Two Major Things I Do Not Desire
Take a house, for example.
I wouldn’t want to own a house if someone gave it to me for free. It’s not about the money at all. It’s just something I have absolutely no desire to own.
I’d much rather rent a small apartment or condo that maximizes my flexibility and freedom while simultaneously minimizing my responsibilities regarding tedious tasks that I don’t want anything to do with. Quite frankly, being in a big house with a bunch of stuff gives me a sense of anxiety. I’m not comfortable in that environment.
This totally flies in the face of what most other people believe in. Even though the majority of millennials regret buying a house, they still think it’s the “American Dream”. The irrationality is almost funny, if it weren’t sad. Homeownership is more like an American nightmare for me.
Another example would be a car.
There are few things in this life I’d rather not have in my life than a car. (A house is one such thing.)
There’s nothing about owning a car that appeals to me at all. I don’t desire a car in the least. Again, someone giving me a car for free would give me no pleasure.
The number of sheer bills that come with having a car in my life sends shivers down my spine. The registration, license plate, insurance, gas, cleaning, driving, maintaining, repairing, etc. Yuck. It’s obligating yourself to an inanimate object. I honestly prefer walking to my destinations. I don’t even want a driver’s license.
It’s funny, but once upon a time you had to be a bossed-out baller to get driven around. Only rich people could sit in the back of a car and be chauffeured around.
Now I can pull up a ride-sharing app and get driven across town for a few dollars. It’s incredible. That’s way more desirable to me, plain and simple. I don’t deal with traffic, stress, or hassles. I love it. It’s like magic.
Your “Secret Sauce”
How does this information help you?
I think many people – perhaps most people – should more heavily focus on desiring less rather than accumulating more. It’s about finding your “enough” in life.
Ever-more money doesn’t help you if your desires increase at an equal, or greater, rate. A lifestyle, or a lifestyle desire, that inflates directly in proportion to an increase in means, does you no good.
Now, you might be really talented at living frugally. I don’t think it’s terribly hard to make the sacrifices that frugality implies, for FIRE is absolutely worth the stretch. It’s a logical calculation. Anyone aiming for FIRE would probably agree. Thus, frugality is almost always deemed to be a valiant sacrifice and worth the delayed gratification.
However, actually ridding yourself of the desires that lead to the sensation of sacrifice is far more important and profound as it relates to your long-term prosperity and happiness. It’s hard to be content if you constantly desire more.
The key here is to wake up and realize that the desire is mostly manufactured.
Many of the things you think you desire aren’t really all that intrinsically desirable at all. Human beings ascribe value to many of these things.
Understanding how the hedonic treadmill works is a building block toward this realization. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs also greatly helped me identify what I truly desire and what I truly do not desire. Also, fully recognizing diminishing marginal utility is wondrous. In addition, abiding by an internal scorecard totally alleviates one of being concerned about others’ opinions.
In the end, it’s an individual journey toward losing these desires that hold you back.
But I think mastering the desire – rather than simply mastering frugality, sacrifice, or delayed gratification – is what will elevate your life far past what it would ordinarily be.
And it’ll make you far richer than you would appear to be.
My most recent best-selling book is: 5 Steps To Retire In 5 Years.
It’s certainly possible to go from $0 to FIRE in five years, and I lay out exactly how that can be done. But constantly lusting after things that might not actually add value to your life will make this journey more arduous than necessary.
Conclusion
Reshaping my life in order to live frugally was once quite difficult. But it’s become easier as time has gone on, in large part due to the fact that I’ve simultaneously lost a lot of desire along the way. Spending less has resulted in greater happiness and contentment, so it’s more or less been a pretty natural evolution.
My life has now reached a point to where living on relatively little money involves absolutely no sense of sacrifice whatsoever. I’m now spending and living as if I were a billionaire. This is thanks to a lack of desire for most expensive goods and services.
However, I’m not saying I have no desire in my life. I have plenty of desire. It’s just not for most of the fancy things that other people covet.
It’s really all about right-sizing your desire to that which truly adds value to your life. If you want goods and services because you’re confident they’ll better your life and are worth the stretch, go for it. But be sure it’s a mindful choice you’re making.
The bottom line is this: I fully believe that if you’re able to find a way to eliminate (or at least reduce) a lot of harmful and useless desire from your life, you’ll be far richer, freer, and happier than you are right now.
What do you think? Do you find living frugally easy or difficult? Is it a sacrifice or do you also lack desire? Do you think the lack of desire is a superpower that can make you a lot richer than you might appear to be?
Thanks for reading.
Image courtesy of: digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
P.S. If you’re interested in achieving financial independence, check out some fantastic tools and services I used on my way to becoming financially free at 33!
100% agree with everything you’ve written here, Jason.
As you mention, desire is manufactured, mostly by marketers who exploit our human biases.
The constant bombardment of ads on the tv, the streets, the radio, the internet habituate us to a state of want want want. So much so that we start thinking wanting things constantly is part of being human.
And yet, when we manage to extricate ourselves from desire, whether by blocking ads or by throwing away our tv, after some time we stop feeling this persistent need to acquire more stuff.
I live on around $1100 a month in a small apartment, use public transport to get around, don’t have tv or subscriptions to online services. Some might think I’m living “frugally” or that I’m “depriving myself”, but for me living this way is as natural as drinking water (from the tab, of course).
Oracle,
Yeah, it’s an interesting debate. Kind of a “chicken or the egg” thing. Is it marketers that generate demand, or is it the demand that generates the marketers? I don’t think it’s 100% of either one, personally. Consumers aren’t “innocent bystanders” being tricked or forced, though. We have free will. I just aim to provide people a little bit of perspective when they go about making those choices.
The key is to be cognizant in your own life about what you really desire. Your life should be a mindful and authentic collection of the goods, services, people, and memories that maximize value. If I thought a BMW would add the appropriate value to my life (at least offsetting its price and responsibilities), I’d buy it. But it has literally NEGATIVE value to me, making the price tag irrelevant.
My income and wealth will continue to compound, but my spending won’t. I simply lack a desire for most of the expensive goods and services that a lot of people covet. It’s nice to be content. 🙂
Cheers!
No doubt, as a single guy, with no kids, no responsibilities and have admitted, not a large circle of friends, you are certainly able to function with a small apartment & public transportation, and quite successfully. Some of us do not have that ability to raise 3 kids plus a wife in that one bedroom apt. Nor were we able to get them all to hockey, baseball, swimming, groceries and normal family functions without a car, not to mention getting to work. We also have a large extended family with an even larger group of friends of either ours or the kids, so normal things like a backyard, garden,pool, bbq etc, while important, and enjoyable to us, does not fit in your plans. In the simplest terms, living below one’s means, not buying things just for the sake of buying things is common sense, and should apply to everyone, whether single or a large family, but one’s lifestyle does dictate what is essential & what is not, and it is not that same for everyone.
Brian,
https://www.mrfreeat33.com/you-dont-have-to-be-extreme-to-be-extraordinary/
Cheers.
I completely agree that keeping your desires in line, connected to what you really want, is critical to becoming FI and living on purpose.
The one luxury item I still can’t seem to give up, is my desire of going out to eat and enjoying some cocktails with my hubby. Its our time to connect, lounge and not clean up after ourselves.
I think it may be less important if I wasn’t working, but for now its too delicious of an experience to give up. Since its so pricey in the states, I’ve decided that it’s ok if I’m FI plus 15 hours a week waitress-ing to keep up this habit. If you can’t beat them, join them;)
Keep up the great articles, love reading them!
Nicki,
Hey, I have luxuries I enjoy. I eat out every single day, for every single meal. Absolutely H-A-T-E everything to do with eating at home (meal planning, shopping, lugging groceries home, cooking, cleaning, etc.). Of course, it’s a totally different dynamic here in Thailand, but there are a number of conveniences/luxuries that I’m all too happy to pay for. Having a maid come in and clean my apartment is an example. Love it. I’m happy to pay a few dollars to avoid an hour or whatever of cleaning.
It’s not about avoiding luxuries. That’s actually the antithesis of what I’m saying here. Being extremely frugal isn’t great (or sustainable) if it’s this massive sacrifice in your life. Instead, just be cognizant of what makes sense for you and only go after what goods and services you truly desire (because they add commensurate value to your life). 🙂
Thanks for dropping by!
Best wishes.
Well said. We do have a larger house, and a lot of things that quite frankly are more of a burden than an enjoyment. As one of the earlier posters mentioned, part of it is family situation. Its much easier to ;live as you do as a single person. But the concept of less can be done by anyone. I have no idea why there are 28 45K+ pickup trucks in my neighborhood, whose owners rarely haul anything at all. Like you, I have plenty of money, I just don’t really desire anything to purchase. It makes me uncomfortable. If I see something that will truly bring me happiness, I buy it.
envision,
“If I see something that will truly bring me happiness, I buy it.”
Absolutely. It boils down to that. But boiling it down like that does require a thought process. You have to actually be mindful about it. Unfortunately, most people don’t take that time to be cognizant, weigh everything out, and rationally come to a conclusion as to whether or not something will add value. It’s often an emotional purchase instead. Housing in the States is a great example. It’s one of those things where “bigger is better” almost by default, without any thought process as to whether or not that will actually improve your quality of life. Then people regret it but still think they did the right thing. It’s almost comical.
I was built for this lifestyle in many ways. I absolutely love it. But if I thought, you know, having a more traditional American life (suburban house, wife, kids, career, cars, debt, etc.) would have made me happy, I would have gone down that road. However, I figured out early on that I didn’t want anything to do with any of that. I get a little bit nauseous even thinking about it.
Being frugal is cool only if you’re living on less because you’re actually living the life you’d prefer to live regardless of how much money you have. I mean, Warren Buffett doesn’t live in Omaha because he can’t afford to live in San Diego or NYC (or anywhere else). If living well below your means is this massive sacrifice, I don’t think that’s very sustainable or something to aspire to. Instead, it should be about getting to the root of the issue and truly finding out what you desire. That process is fun. And I’ve come to realize that I simply do not desire most of the expensive goods and services that a lot of people (particularly Americans) covet.
Best regards.
Yes! I cringe when I hear about people wanting to reach FI so they can lead a fancier lifestyle(EG Dave Ramsey). You nailed it, you have to change your desire, not your bank account.
envision,
Well, to each their own. I’m not against luxury goods or services. It’s just that I don’t personally desire them.
If I thought, you know, a yacht or something would make me happy, I’d work toward it. But I want exactly what I’ve got. I’m very happy. 🙂
I suppose this is a journey everyone must take for themselves. If someone fully believes a life of luxury will make them happy, they need to go after that and see the results. Nothing I can say or write will change that. I simply aim to inspire those looking to be inspired. I want to have a conversation with like-minded people who appreciate the message.
In the end, though, I believe a lot of people end up realizing that a lot of these “manufactured” desires aren’t all that healthy.
Cheers!
As always, Jason, your posts is too good! I really enjoy reading them.
How much do you invest and spend annually now? I read that you’re FIRE-fund was aprox. 400k $ now, but how much was it when you declared yourself as FI?
You’re a true inspiritaion, Jason!
Thanks for sharing these amazing blog posts!
route2fi,
Thanks a lot. Very much appreciate that. 🙂
As for the numbers, those are all public. I share the monthly updates, so you’re free to browse.
Cheers!
The lack of desire is a huge advantage. Interestingly, I think Buddhism has a lot of teaching on controlling your desire. Personally, I still have desire, but I learned to prioritize.
Having more freedom in way higher on my priority than having a luxury car, for example. I don’t think you can have everything in life. You just have to pick and choose.
I do think living frugally become easier over time. You get used to the habit and don’t really miss spending on frivolous things. Good topic.
Joe,
That’s funny that you bring up Buddhism. The post I have scheduled for Thursday actually mentions a different concept of Buddhism, which is that attachment leads to suffering. I’m down to just two bags of possessions, so I guess I’m not suffering too much. 🙂
Good point about prioritization. If you do still have some desire in your life, and you’re financially limited in some way, then prioritization is a great way to go. Personally, that’s exactly what I did until I realized that things low on the priority list deserved to be eliminated from the list altogether (because I learned that I didn’t desire them at all).
Thanks for dropping by!
Best wishes.
Are you learning more about Buddhism? That’s neat. I’m looking forward to that post.
I want to learn more too. I was too young to know much when we moved to the US. The main idea is to walk the middle path and not go to either extreme, I believe.
It definitely depends on what you value. Raising three millennials to adulthood in the same house surrounded by hundreds of acres of wooded wetlands was something we valued, a lot. And having a meaningful career where I could positively impact the lives of hundreds of people mattered to me too. But I can imagine if work had not lit me up inside I’d have looked for a way out earlier myself. I think we are both winning by being happy with our choices and by having more than we need and everything we want.
Steve,
Absolutely. It definitely depends on what you value. But what you value is born out of what you desire. I mean, I wouldn’t personally value the idea of living on hundreds of acres of wooded wetlands at even a penny. That would make me miserable. However, I only value it so lowly because I lack that desire.
There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to approach it. It’s all personal values/desires. But I will say that this concept is pretty powerful in terms of determining just how wealthy and happy you can be. If I secretly coveted luxury cars, a private plane, a yacht, etc., I’d be very unhappy and poor living like I do.
Likewise, if you give each of us the same pot of money (say, $500k), you’ll be much poorer than I am simply because you obviously desire certain expensive things (like hundreds of acres of wooded wetlands and all that this will come with) that I do not. My money goes much further than yours in terms of desire and happiness because of this. Doesn’t make me better or more right than you. But there’s nonetheless an impact from these desires, which I’ve laid out.
Cheers!
I agree that decades of expending massive amounts of time/energy for an employer IS the sacrifice. Doing without velvet socks and a BMW isn’t much of a sacrifice by comparison.
I live in a modest home in an upscale town. Upscale has meant virtually no crime, well behaved neighbors, responsive public servants, and many conveniences. I pay extra for the good hood.
I refuse to indulge in the fancy cars and McMansions that so many of my neighbors do. I find it pathetic that a wealthy person wants to boast to strangers by driving an Audi. Even worse is the un-wealthy person who is in great debt so their car can boast of fictitious prosperity.
My secret sauce is that I’m not out to impress anyone with ostentatious trappings of wealth. It has made me prosperous. I’m retiring next year in my 50’s. My neighbor with the leased Lexus has bemoaned that he’ll be working past 67
Freddy,
“My secret sauce is that I’m not out to impress anyone with ostentatious trappings of wealth. It has made me prosperous.”
Preach it, brother!!
Best regards.
Hi Jason,
I have read with interest the comment with the family life and everything around it which costs a lot of money. I experience this quite a lot by my friends which have big houses and everything around it for a middle class life. Geramany is the same as the States about all this. And this is OK, if the people like their lifes, even if they have a lot of money or no money. This is just another priorization, but I wonder why someone is reading your blog if his life targets are completly different. On the other side my friends do not desire to get FI. OK, they want to be, but they don´t like the decisions to be done to achieve it.
From my side I made an appreticeship in a local bank. This included the real estate department. I saw that there were so many people having troubles because the house and everything around it was so big and costly. Young people in the mid 20s starting with 500k D-Mark (its today 500k EURO) debts building a house etc. etc. Also buying two middle class cars, because the house is somewhere where you need cars and then what the commenter above explained having big barbecues with 20 people and so on. If everything is going well and this is the life you want, go for it. When I saw that I wasn´t keen to buy a house. When I studied I moved to an older couple in a very wealthy area. They were living in a big mansion house with a bigger garden and swimming pool. I think, everything is worth 5 mio. EURO today. When I discussed with the man he sad, that 20 k EUROs is really nothing if you have to fix something on the house. They always had to fix something, have a person for the garden and also a person for the cleaning. I learned that if you have too much place it is very costly in every aspect. On the other side living in the house after three months I moved in was normal and nothing extraorinary for me anymore. So, where is your gain for this ton of money? On the other side you always have to look to earn enough money to live in this house. So this was the end of the wish buying me a house.
To get financial free took me way longer than you did. I saved quite a long time and retired with 51 years. I spend some money on this and that, was never really frugal and lived like I wanted. But no house and avoiding a car helped me a lot. I also have no desire for a familiy with 3 kids, and this surely helped also a lot. If you get divorced and have kids a lot of people are living after that with very small money. Even most of the divorced people have to sell the house because they can´t afford it anymore. If I were the same like a lot of people who did some or everything of the above I doubt that I would ever had the chance to get only nearly to FI. But this is my priorization and I also like it like you do. Its really a good feeling that I can do so many things and if I don´t make bigger mistakes in the future, this won´t end till I pass away. On the other side all the other people with the big houses, big cars, big holidays and big families don´t want to swop with me. But from my side I don´t want either. So everyone is happy if he is doing what he really wants.
Regards
Oliver
Oliver,
“This is just another priorization, but I wonder why someone is reading your blog if his life targets are completly different.”
I wonder, too. One of the great questions of our time. I truly have no idea. But why do people do a lot of the things they do? 😂
“On the other side all the other people with the big houses, big cars, big holidays and big families don´t want to swop with me. But from my side I don´t want either. So everyone is happy if he is doing what he really wants.”
Yeah, I totally agree with that. Everyone should do what makes sense for them. I noted this a while back, but my best friend since childhood is married with children and all of the typical trappings. He’s generally pretty happy. Now, I wouldn’t trade places with him for all the money in the world. Likewise, he’d be lost in my situation. Different strokes for different folks, which is why FIRE isn’t for everyone. That said, a lot of people aren’t very happy. If the world were one great, happy place where everyone were cheery about everything, it’d be a lot different than it is. Indeed, one of the reasons I left America was because of this simmering tension. Most people I met didn’t come across as very happy at all. Totally different over here in Thailand, though.
Thanks for sharing!!
Best wishes.
“I’ve long argued that the “sacrifice” that FIRE involves is far less of a sacrifice than needing a job for most of your life.” I love this phrase.. great article with lots of wise words.. cheers, Independus
Independus,
Thanks so much! 🙂
Cheers.