This is part of an ongoing series where I dissect and discuss the reasoning behind various facets of my lifestyle. Through this, I’m attempting to separate the money aspect from the decision-making process, showing that I live a lifestyle that’s largely divorced from concerns about money whatsoever. Essentially, this is a lifestyle that I’d live regardless of my income/wealth. These facets thus aren’t about the money at all, but rather the result of thoughtful choices based around what I value and what drives my happiness.
There’s always something comforting about being home, isn’t there?
You’re surrounded by the sum of your choices in life at home.
The people you love. The non-people you love. The pictures that represent your adventures, experiences, and memories. Your favorite blanket. The movies or TV shows you prefer. The books you like to read. Your comfy couch (or chair). A computer that allows you to tap into the outside world at will.
I’m a proud homebody.
And it genuinely has nothing to do with financial independence or saving money.
I’ve always preferred to spend a lot of time at home, which, I believe, is one aspect of my personality/lifestyle that originally served as part of the impetus behind my decision to aim to achieve financial independence as soon as I could in life, as spending 50-60 hours at a dealership really cuts into the comfy-couch-and-blanket time.
As I’ve noted before, I’m an INTJ personality, which is a personality type that seems to be pervasive among those that seek out early financial independence.
Being naturally introverted, I generate/recover energy in small groups or isolation, while I expend energy when in large groups. As such, I tend to feel the most invigorated when I’m at home.
Home is generally where some of my best ideas have come about. Home is where I look at annual reports and research investments. Home is where I contemplate. Home is where I relax after a good workout.
Being a homebody is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I think it’s something that should be celebrated, assuming it’s something that comes fairly natural for you. If you enjoy spending most of your time at home, own it. Make the most of it. Enjoy it.
The only thing that I think one should be ashamed of is being somebody they’re not. Pretending to fit in when they don’t.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
There tends to be this assumption that spending a lot of time at home is required in order to achieve financial independence at a relatively early age, as going out all the time can add up.
I’m not sure that’s necessarily true. There there are plenty of things to do outside the home that cost little or no money. Going for a walk in the city, enjoying a park, or hitting the beach are just a few examples. Indeed, I try to engage in many of these free or low cost activities regularly.
But I always look forward to coming home. I need that time to re-energize, clear my thoughts, and find my center.
If you’re an extrovert that loves hitting the town as much as possible, that’s fine. If that’s you, and you want to seek financial independence, you simply need to make sure the spending is in line with your holistic lifestyle and associated budget.
However, I think there’s this negative connotation associated with being a homebody, as in the only reason someone would prefer to spend a lot of time at home is to save on money.
Well, my portfolio could be 10x its current size and I’d still spend most of my time at home, surrounded by the things and non-things that matter most to me in life (which, as a minimalist, don’t add up to much).
Indeed, Warren Buffett has on numerous occasions stated that one of his favorite personal (outside of business) pastimes is to be home alone, in his sweatsuit, watching football… or playing the ukulele. Even with billions of dollars, it really is the simple things in life.
I used to go out more than I wanted to or should have. I thought I needed to fit in. I thought I needed to be part of society, engage as much as possible, and make small talk. But I often found myself poorer and worse for wear, wondering why I didn’t just stay home and watch a movie instead. I realized at some point that I quite like staying home. And it’s safer and far less expensive. It’s really a win-win.
So if you’re a homebody, more power to you. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not missing out on anything. And it doesn’t need to be about the money at all. Saving money by being a homebody should be an additional benefit to being true to yourself, just like most aspects of a proper and holistic lifestyle designed for efficiency, happiness, and freedom.
Be you, because you can’t be anyone else.
I’m having this dialogue with you readers in order to point out that the lifestyle one creates in order to become financially free at a young age doesn’t have to and shouldn’t lead to a decline in one’s happiness.
Not only does spending more money not automatically lead to more happiness, but spending less money can actually lead to more happiness.
It’s counterintuitive – which makes it that much more amazing. For some reason, people largely believe that money and happiness operate under a constant 1:1 ratio where the increase or decrease of the former always leads to the equivalent change in the latter. But it’s just not true.
And that’s not just due to the permanent shift in one’s internal “happiness thermostat” that one attains after becoming financially free, but it’s also due to the realization that the creation of a more robust lifestyle that concentrates on life and experiences more than stuff and money alleviates oneself of a silly and undue burden. This can actually improve the world around you, which simply compounds the benefits.
Finally, being in a position to make lifestyle decisions not based on money but rather the pursuit of happiness is, in my view, a wonderful way to approach life. I’ve found that I think not about money when I make decisions but instead about whether or not something makes me happy. And it just so happens that what makes me happy doesn’t cost very much money. It’s an incredibly virtuous cycle that’s part of an overarching holistic lifestyle that feeds into itself. Once you open your eyes to it, it’s almost like you can’t help but succeed, become financially free, and live life on your terms.
Are you a homebody? Why or why not?
Thanks for reading.
Image courtesy of: Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
I am kinda both. I have no problem staying in on the weekends and just reading and hitting the gym, but then i get an itch to start traveling and seeing and doing new things.
“Finally, being in a position to make lifestyle decisions not based on money but rather the pursuit of happiness is, in my view, a wonderful way to approach life.”
This is the truth!!
FV,
Glad you like that!
I started this series because I’ve received a lot of emails and comments over the years implying that I must be making these huge sacrifices to live the way I do in order to save money. But the truth is that I’d largely live the way I do even if I had millions of dollars. It’s a lifestyle preference, not a lifestyle sacrifice.
Thanks for dropping by!
Cheers.
Good post. Like you some of my favorite things are free like hikes with the dog and playing in the yard with my son. When we go away on vacation after 7 days I always wanna go home. That tends to be my sweet spot. We have done a couple 10 day trips but after 7 I’m rdy to go back.
Cheers
CPI,
Thanks!
One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that so many people spend a ton of money just trying to “fit in”. If you’re truly an extrovert who loves being in big groups, have at it. If you genuinely love expensive food at trendy restaurants, budget for it appropriately. I had to learn that I’m not into a lot of that stuff. And now I’m trying to open up and share in order to show others that it’s okay to be you. 🙂
I agree that a few days away from the routine is nice. But after just a few days of being somewhere else, I’m always ready to come back home to my comfort zone.
Thanks for sharing that!
Best regards.
I am very much the same way. It is somewhat comical when other people can’t understand how introverts enjoy the isolation. I have friends that insist on going out with large groups of people fairly often. Not my style. To each their own!
Mr Defined Sight,
To each their own, indeed. And that’s really the point of the article. One should always aim to be true to oneself, be it introversion or extroversion. If you’re a homebody, own it and enjoy it. Don’t feel like you need to “fit in” and go crazy, spending money and energy that you’d rather save. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
Best wishes.
Enjoyed this. A lot of people like to [travel] but I find it a hassle. There’s no place home. I’m also home now recovering from a workout. Not a good one but sometimes you have to settle for just getting your ass to lift something heavy 20 times in a row for the hell of it.
FV,
I’m with you 100%. My goal all along was to create a life I didn’t need a vacation from. Likewise, I like living somewhere I don’t need a vacation from. While it’s good to see somewhere new once in a while, I generally find traveling to be a hassle. I hate flying. Hate airports. Hate all that’s involved with going far distances. That’s a big reason why I didn’t care too much for Thailand.
Get some rest over there. I’ll be in your spot in about two hours. Arms today. Always fun! 🙂
Cheers.
I’m a mix. When I’m away for more than a week I get really homesick. When I’m home for a week I need to get out and explore.
Maybe I’m just a restless person /shrug
DiviCents,
Hey, to each their own. If you’re restless, make the most of it. Be you. Own it! 🙂
Cheers.
It may well be that the homebody personality is more inclined to saving. It sure looks that way from the comments.
I’m a homebody myself, but I also like to explore, so I travel. A few weeks in Spain, or Germany, or Sweden, or wherever. I get to take in the sights, sounds, scents, flavors and culture of a place, I get to hike, ride mass transit and see things I wouldn’t see out of my own house.
A few weeks later I feel very happy to be home again and let the travel bug rest for another 6-12 months.
rob,
Yeah, I think there’s a correlation there. I mentioned that a while ago in a podcast I was doing. I think introverts are naturally more “suited” for this whole lifestyle – the saving, investing, and journey toward financial independence. That’s not to say an extrovert can’t get there just as fast. I just think there are more natural financial headwinds potentially built in.
I used to wonder about travel, thinking I was weird that I never had that “bug”. Then I went to Thailand. I realized pretty quickly that I wasn’t missing out on anything at all, at least to my own preference. But, hey, less demand for airline tickets and everything else, which should reduce the pricing for those (like yourself) who like to travel. 🙂
Best regards!
Jason –
I would definitely say I’m more of a – having those that you love and want to spend time within – in a home or another setting. I’d lean more towards homebody – as it means – being alone to focus, workout, work AND can also mean – fun movie nights with your significant other, loves one, watching the game on basic cable, sharing a fun meal that you and others whipped up, etc..
Additionally – and not surprisingly – it is MUCH safer (i.e. car accidents, theft, “fights”, etc.) and ends up being better on the wallet more times than not. Further, you get to, usually, choose who you are with : )
Great post Jason, as I’m with you – and – we spend so much on housing, that it makes sense to take advantage of your home!
-Lanny
Lanny,
Absolutely. Being home where one is safe and sound, surrounded by the people and things they love, is a pretty nice spot to be in. Since housing is probably going to be your biggest expense, you may as well take advantage of it as much as possible. 🙂
Cheers!
I’m very much in your camp here and honestly if I had written an article like the one you have here I would sounds very, very similar. I’m an ISTP personality which pretty much boiled down to individual traits: Introverted – 74%, Observant – 63%, Thinking – 65%, Prospecting – 58%, Assertive – 65%.
So I like relaxing at home or even out by the pool at my gym reading, one of my guilty weekend pleasures.
DD,
With you all the way, man!
I can be pretty cerebral. Perhaps too much for some people. Being at home allows me to indulge in that. While going out with people and just kind of escaping “one’s own mind” once in a while is nice, I can’t do it all the time. It drains me. And too much of it takes away value from my life. So I’ve learned to own up to who I am and be proud of it. The fact that staying home is safe and cheap is just icing on the cake. 🙂
If relaxing at home and reading is a pleasure for you, indulge away!
Best regards.
I’m the same way and I think it was compounded by me being an only child as well. The nice thing is it really works well with the retire early lifestyle. The one outlet I have outside work is the gym where I see a few people that I know but don’t know have can have some mild banter back and forth.
Can I gift wrap this blog post and send it to my parents? Since I was a kid, they’ve always thought there was something wrong with me because I preferred to hang out and play video games than go out and play sports. Not really a sports fan. As time went on, I started to think that there WAS something wrong with me. It didn’t help that all my friends are extroverted party animals. They love going out to wild clubs and stuff like that. I blew way too much money on places like that before I realized that being a homebody doesn’t make me an anti-social loser.
I’m an anti-social loser for plenty of other reasons 😉
Sincerely,
ARB–Angry Retail Banker
ARB,
Hey, man. We’re on the same page 100% here.
I also spent way too much money over the years trying to fit in and be more extroverted, thinking it was the “right” thing to do. And sure I had a good time here and there. But I honestly wouldn’t have done it nearly as much if I were more sure of myself, like I am today.
IF being an anti-social loser means living life on my terms and, overall, being really happy in life, I’m okay with that. 🙂
Cheers!
I’m definitely a homebody. I really don’t like having to go anywhere that isn’t a friend’s house. I generally drive myself when I have to go out so I can leave as soon as i can get away with.
My fiance is the opposite – he loves to go out and be around people which can make things difficult at times but we usually find a good compromise. He even leaves me alone when I get home from work to let me decompress and knows that I’ll emerge when I’m ready.
But I do love being a homebody. Most of my interests are solitary interests so it’s really not surprising.
valentinabrenni,
That’s too funny. I know exactly what you mean. Back when I was younger, especially in college, I used to tag along to places. And I’d always wish that I would have just drove myself wherever I was, because I’d end up drained after a little while, ready to go long before anyone else. It’s funny, too, because I’m a night owl. But that’s more in the sense that I enjoy watching the late shows or reading at midnight, rather than hitting the town.
I can imagine you and your fiance have to come up with compromises on that, seeing as how he’s more of an extrovert. But any good relationship is full of compromises. Sounds like you two have it figured out. 🙂
Best regards!
Good post there Jason, touching on who you are rather than who you are trying to be.
Great insights about how the myerr briggs personality gives clues about who and what defined us.
B,
I think some of that comes with age. You become comfortable in your own skin. You figure yourself out. And then you own it. 🙂
Cheers!
Hi Jason,
Love your site!
I am an INFP, so I can understand the introversion and needing to recharge and contemplate at home. Some nights after work I just about cry from sheer relief after arriving home and sitting in my quiet townhouse that is bought and paid for, to me it is the most beautiful place on earth. This joy increased tenfold after buying my own place at the age of 42 after years of renting. I enjoy being home much more now.
Keep the inspiring articles coming!
Jennifer
Jennifer,
Thanks so much!
I totally hear you over there. Home is a sanctuary. It’s a place to recharge and contemplate. I’ll sometimes just be sitting there, thinking up all kinds of ideas. I guess I have fun with things like that. I certainly enjoy the company of others, too, but too much time in large groups wipes me out.
Enjoy your time at home. 🙂
Best regards.