Being financially independent means you’re flexible.
You have options.
And it’s almost impossible to quantify the value of having options in life.
While the value-added nature of flexibility is something I’ve touched on quite a bit over the last couple years, one aspect of flexibility that I haven’t yet written about is how having options creates a breeding ground for authenticity.
This authenticity is possible not just because of having access to a broader array of options, but also because of the contentment in knowing that we chose our best choice.
Plus, the availability of many options operates almost in the background, constantly hovering around in our minds, providing the peace of mind that only many aces in the hole can.
Lastly, a large basket of options gives one courage. It doesn’t take much inner force to move along in a life where there’s very little chance of absolute failure.
We all want to live lives that are authentic. We want to be true to ourselves, in every choice we make.
But this is easier said than done in real life, where choices are made in a world that doesn’t always allow for a lot of options. Be it lack of money, time, or knowledge, options can be frequently in short supply. When you lack options, you lack choices.
Moreover, the lack of choices means one is always wondering about other possible options, leading to a lack of contentment. It’s FOMO (fear of missing out). It’s the “grass is greener” syndrome eating away at someone.
Sometimes you need to have access to all the yards in order to not only choose your favorite plot of grass, but also to know that, after seeing all the other available yards firsthand, you’re content with your choice.
Having many options is a wonderful life position to be in. But what’s underappreciated about options is how they provide truth. Having many options tells you a lot about who you really are. And the more options you have, the more authentic you can/should/will live your life. The more options you have, the more you’ll discover about your true nature.
Who Are You?
Can we ever know who we truly are without having a ton of options on the table?
Would you still commit to a certain daily schedule if you didn’t have to? Would you still show up to a job if you didn’t need the money? Would you still be with your significant other if you could have almost anyone? Would you still live in a particular city if you could live almost anywhere?
A great example of options providing truth is Warren Buffett.
Buffett could do anything, be anyone, buy everything, and go anywhere.
Options are in large part a function of wealth and independence. And so very few people on this planet have more options than him.
Yet he chooses to live in the same house he purchased back in 1958 for less than $32,000. This house, by the way, is in Omaha, Nebraska.
He drives a modest car.
He likes to eat McDonald’s or ice cream for breakfast.
And he still shows up to work every day.
What we have here is the ultimate example of authenticity.
He chooses to live the way he does. He makes choices that are authentic to who he really is. It’s not a situation where more money encouraged him to stray from what he really likes in life. He knows himself deep down inside, and he’s stayed true to his ethos.
It’s something, as my wealth, passive income, and options continue to climb, I enthusiastically strive to emulate.
I have come to believe that a life of authenticity is a life of contentment. And a life of contentment is a life of happiness.
At the same time, though, a life of contentment might only be possible when you know, for sure, that you’re exactly who and where you want to be. And you know this because you have options in the first place.
So it’s a situation where having options – even options you would never actually use – have immense value simply by virtue of existing. The pure existence of options is one of the few things in life that doesn’t have value based on utility/use.
Is A Man Only As Faithful As His Options?
Chris Rock, one of my favorite comedians, once quipped:
A man is basically as faithful as his options.
Now, this is a comedian making a joke. But there might be some truth to this, depending on who you ask. (And Chris Rock did ironically cop to cheating on his wife with multiple women, which seems to be the catalyst behind his divorce.)
It’s an interesting thing for me to think about because – I’m being brutally honest here – my options back in the States in regard to women were never that numerous. I’m no Brad Pitt. Nobody is mistaking me for David Beckham.
Furthermore, my natural introversion, dedication to frugality, minimalist preferences, and adherence to intensely persuing a life so outside the box doesn’t help matters.
And then there’s just the fact that I’m not really personally interested in some of the more common dating/relationship dynamics that currently exist in the US.
But my stock (in investing parlance) has risen in value considerably since relocating to Thailand.
It’s reality – I’m not bragging – to say that my options are far more numerous now, which would allow me to date different women fairly regularly. Being that this is a bit of a new experience for me, I wouldn’t blame myself if I were to take advantage of it.
However, that’s not at all what I’ve done.
I met a really sweet, smart, silly, and sexy woman almost immediately upon relocating to Chiang Mai. And we’ve been dating ever since. She’s shown me around the area. We’ve shared dreams, cultures, ideas, and languages. It’s been so much fun. And it’s much more rewarding for me, personally, than it would be to just date around and make more superficial connections.
I have nothing against the idea of going wild as a single person. Nothing wrong with dating around. Some people thrive in that environment. That’s fantastic. Truly. But it’s not what I want.
However, I feel better than ever about building a relationship precisely because of the options.
Seeing plenty of beautiful women around that could potentially be short-term or long-term mates doesn’t detract from my experience or happiness.
It adds to my happiness.
I feel content because I made my choice in a place where I had many choices.
I’m not settling.
Settling And Contentment
In my view, it’s the feeling – whether perceived or real – that one is settling that leads to a lack of contentment.
Conversely, it’s the active choosing of one’s yard in a neighborhood with many available yards that leads to true contentment. You don’t feel like the grass is greener because you already know what the other yards more or less look like. There’s no constant wondering and yearning when other yards are no longer off limits or not visible.
I could use many examples here to convey this idea and make my point.
There’s the fact that living in Chiang Mai, Thailand has been making me so happy because I actively choose to live here – in a world where I could live in many different places.
I’m not faithful to Chiang Mai because I have to be. I’m faithful to Chiang Mai because I want to be.
There’s a big difference there. But one can only recognize and experience it when they actually have the options.
I don’t show up to the coffee shop multiple times per week, writing away for hours because I have to. I do it because I chose to, because I want to, and because I genuinely enjoy it (even with the existence of many other options).
Likewise, I don’t have to go to the gym six days per week (or as a Twitter follower and fellow blogger put it: curls for girls). I want to go. I’m faithful to the routine, and enjoy myself so much, because it’s a choice I’m actively making.
This all said, I’m neither insinuating nor outright explicitly stating that one can only be faithful (to anything – a partner, job, place, gym, etc.) when they have options. I’m only saying there’s a psychological benefit, in my experience, when one has options and doesn’t feel like they’re settling. And this phenomenon plays out across one’s life.
I’ll also quickly point out that I recently attended a digital nomad/online entrepreneur meetup. And the speaker at this meetup relayed this experience from many years ago, where he encountered an old guy running a dive shop on a beautiful island in Thailand.
Whereas the speaker was positively in love with the island, this old guy was miserable.
It turned out that the old guy was miserable because he had no other option. He was “stuck” on this beautiful island. Maybe he once had options, but he didn’t anymore. He had to stay. And he was miserable in what others might deem to be a paradise.
No matter your situation in life (even if others think it’s fantastic), being stuck will probably make you miserable.
Peace Of Mind
The value of having options extends to giving one almost a constant source of peace of mind.
Let’s say you reach financial independence at an early age, yet you decide to stay at your job.
Do the dynamics at your job change once you’re financially independent? Do you feel that you’re coming from a place of strength when you know you have a huge ace in the hole? Do you worry and stress much less when the economics of the job are no longer a primary concern?
Yes. Yes. And yes.
I quit my day job at 32 years old. I was only about ~50% financially independent back then.
But as I’ve noted before, full financial independence likely isn’t necessary in order to experience many of the benefits that financial independence offers, making a lot of the “early retirement math” more or less moot.
I can tell you this, however: I started to feel different at my job, even before I quit. I started to have this confidence and peace of mind that was so uplifting and beneficial. I no longer feared my boss or clients. I wasn’t scared about losing my job. And so I kind of floated around, almost like a cloud was beneath me.
Of course, even with those benefits, I still strongly disliked the job. And that’s why I ultimately left.
But this peace of mind adds to the contentment, which adds to the happiness. It’s an inner sense of holistic harmony that’s hard to place value on.
This peace of mind is possible with options. You know that there’s very little chance of failure with things when you always have an ace in the hole.
I’ve noted this before, but living as a dividend expat is a great example of this.
I really enjoy living in Chiang Mai.
The relaxed way in which Thais live, the quality of life, the value, and the ease of building relationships (romantic and otherwise) are just a few aspects of my life that has led to a “reverse culture shock” of sorts since arriving. My expectations have been exceeded. And they continue to be exceeded all the time.
But it’s also easy to have peace of mind when I have so many other options.
If I weren’t to enjoy living here, it’s as easy as booking a plane ticket elsewhere. I could go to another country. Or I could go back to the States. It’s not that hard. My worst-case scenario is practically nil.
But I’m not stuck here, unlike that old guy running the dive shop…
Bringing this point back to my budding relationship, it’s another case where peace of mind is wonderful. If this young relationship were to suddenly end, I’d be bummed for sure. But knowing that my options are plentiful, if I had to go down that road, is peace of mind for me. I think the ending of a relationship (or a job, a living situation, or just about anything else in life) is a bit more emotionally catastrophic if you feel like your options are otherwise limited.
Conclusion
Having flexibility in life is incredibly valuable.
But I don’t think many people stop to think about how having options benefits one from the standpoint of living an authentic life of contentment based around thoughtfully choosing their best choice(s). You’re free to be exactly you. You’re free to live a life that’s authentic to who you really are.
Oscar Wilde said it best:
Be yourself: everyone else is already taken.
But it’s not always easy (or even possible) to be yourself if you’re not free to make the choices that best represent who you are. Having a broad array of options rectifies this.
There’s a lot of value in being able to choose at all. There’s peace of mind in having options. When one makes a choice with the free will to peruse many other available options, contentment arrives. And all of this manifests into a holistic sense of harmony that adds so much value, happiness, and quality of life.
So go out and be you. Live your life. But first make sure you have as many options as possible at your disposal.
What do you think? Do options allow us to live an authentic life? Do options allow for contentment?
Thanks for reading.
Image courtesy of: Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
P.S. If you’re looking for more options in your life, check out this great list of resources that I personally used to help me achieve financial and location independence in my 30s.
In his seminal book The 4-Hour Work Week, Timothy Ferriss said something that has become my mantra: “Options – the ability to choose – is real power.” When you’re living paycheck to paycheck and are 100% dependent on your job for that paycheck, you have zero options (other than to quit and find a better job). The beauty of pursuing FI is that even if you never attain it, you will be in a much stronger financial position and will have more options available than somebody working 50-60 hours a week just to tenuously maintain their current lifestyle. My dividend income is insufficient to afford me the big options (early retirement, mini-retirements, etc.), but it’s more than enough to afford me numerous small options that I would never consider if I only had a single source of income.
DQ,
Absolutely. The ability to choose, via a broad array of options, is power. But it’s not an all-or-nothing proposition. While having a few options is not as great as having all the options, it’s much better than having no options.
I discussed this – how freedom exists along a spectrum – a few years ago:
http://www.dividendmantra.com/2015/02/freedom-exists-on-a-spectrum/
Cheers!
Having options is the best position a person can be. Like you said. With options a person can be their true self. This is why most of us are trying to be financially free like you, so that we to can have options to do what we want to do.
FV,
Oscar Wilde said it best. It’s just that it’s difficult to be your true self if you lack choices. It’s hard to really be you if you’re forced into making choices you wouldn’t ordinarily make because you have no other choice. But financial freedom largely solves this issue, giving one options to pursue a life that reflects who they are inside. 🙂
Best regards!
Reading this is a reminder of how much of ourselves we give to our employers because we rely on them to pay our bills. And I don’t mean giving our time or labor, but how much OURSELVES we give them; our loyalty, our identity, our relationships, our passions, our peace of mind, our health.
Having options is the only way to even the playing field. To relieve at least SOME of the pressure on our shoulders that comes from constantly trying to please our employers, our customers, fellow social media users, and anyone else who has the power to rob us of our livelihoods.
Sincerely,
ARB–Angry Retail Banker
ARB,
Definitely. It’s the same thing when you meet someone for the first time. One of the first questions that naturally comes up is what you do for a living. We align our identity with our jobs. And that’s a shame if you’re doing the job because of lack of options, because you’re then obviously not living a life that’s aligned with who you truly are. Yet that job is what the world will see you as. It’s, to me, almost like living a fraudulent life.
Having the options to live the life that completely and accurately reflects who I am – right down to my core – is one of the best things about being financially independent. I don’t have to fake anything. I don’t have to settle. And I feel so content as a result of that. It’s a real blessing. 🙂
I hope the article inspired a few out there still striving toward that goal. The options are there for the taking.
Best wishes!
This is interesting – A man is basically as faithful as his options.
My life is almost perfect right now and I don’t want to change anything. Being faithful is an interesting comparison. You don’t want to give yourself too many options when you’re in a committed relationship. I just want to keep my head down and avoid any female friendship. Why tempt faith when life is going so well? In my case, less option is better.
On the financial side, it’s way better to have more options. Your old guy in a dive shop is a great example. If he has more options, he’d probably be more relaxed about life and can enjoy the beautiful scenery. Or he could take one of the other options.
It sounds like you’re doing very well in Chiang Mai. That’s really great. I’m sure we’ll meet in person in a couple of years. Enjoy!
Joe,
That’s really great. So glad to hear that you’re so content and happy. That’s what it’s all about.
I do hope we can meet up for coffee or food next time you find yourself in CM. I can’t imagine I’ll be going anywhere for a long time. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
Best wishes.
Agree having options is the way forward. I find it fascinating to observe the differences between those that believe they have no other options than a perm job, as opposed that know even if they lost the job, life would be ok. The latter are much more contented and at peace.
And I’m really not liking the media spin lately, that people are discontented due to technology and automation….I wonder if that really was an issue for the chimney sweeps in their declining years?
Ms Zi You,
Right. Lack of options will often directly translate into discontentment, even if your situation isn’t all that bad (at least from an outsider’s perspective).
But if you can set yourself up with even just a few options – a few aces up your sleeve – you’ll likely find yourself far more content, happy, and at peace with your overall lot in life. Even better if you can become financially independent and have a rather broad array of options at your disposal. There’s no “grass is greener” syndrome to worry about when you can freely choose among many different plots of grass. 🙂
Cheers!
Hi Jason,
Nice article, Pursuing the path to FI is quite empowering and offer numerous options in in life indeed, I had a recent experience when a new manager was trying to enforce the career risk as a scare tactic. He was shocked and puzzled when I told him that why I save and invest as any Job is just a temporary mean of income. That triggered him to change the topic immediately and chose more settle tone.
This story was eye opening to me as it enforce the power of FI path even before you reach your 100% Financial Independence. as JLCollins call it FU Money.
atm,
That’s a neat story. Employers are typically able to hold the job over your head, knowing that you’re beholden to that. It’s power. But if they recognize they no longer have that power over you, things change pretty quick. 🙂
This is akin to what I was talking about in the article – how I felt more at ease at work when the passive income started to become material. Of course, a job is still a job, so I had to go. But it was really nice to experience the workplace without the usual associated anxiety.
I’ve written about this numerous times (with multiple links included in the article and comments), but I don’t think 100% financial independence is necessary for most people. If you’re able to get 50% to 75% there, you’re going to unlock pretty much all of the benefits anyway. People who strive to get to 100% – or way past 100%, with this massive margin of safety – are trying way too hard and missing out on way too much, in my opinion. Having a broad array of options at your disposal, which is a wonderful life situation to be in, does not require 100%+ of your expenses covered via passive income. You can always make money. Can’t always make time.
Cheers!
Jason, I love what you wrote, and even more than that, I appreciate that you actually have made a choice. Most, if not all of them appear to be singular choices, which allows you to devote your time, energy, attention, focus, etc to them fully, and also be productive in a way that you find rewarding.
A couple of quick things came to mind based around that. As I was driving up to Starbucks yesterday (of course I will get my overpriced coffee at Starbucks since I need to support my employees – after all, the company works for me as a stockholder, doesn’t it?), I called my actual employee to see if he wanted a coffee. A simple coffee, right? I went through 10 different coffee options with him, then the additives, and I laughed to myself about how many options we have in our lives on a day to day basis. The power to make choices in the face of that is a great one, for I know many people who watch month after month and year after year not making said choices, or bouncing around from one to the next to the next. It is exhausting for them, those in their lives, etc, so again, I applaud your strength and conviction in making them – Thailand is a prime example, and look what has become of it.
I also remembered when I was doing my neurology rotation at Columbia Presbyterian. An African neurologist said in his thick accent, ‘we don’t have ADD where I come from… our children have 2 toys to play with… a rock and a stick. If you don’t have rock, you play with stick, and vice versa.’.
As you so eloquently said, having options, and then making choices in the face of them, is incredibly revealing as to the nature of who we are. You are demonstrating that by making the choices that serve your nature best, the ‘universe’ at large has responded in kind. To me, what you are doing is outwardly demonstrating the inner love you have for yourself, and you have now been presented with the gift of a person who can reflect that back to you, and vice versa. That, my friend, is a beautiful thing.
Andrew,
Thanks for sharing that. It’s great to be able to bounce ideas around like this.
Your comment reminds me of a totally different article that I haven’t yet published. The article is about how I’ve reprogrammed my mind to enjoy a routine, which is something I’m actually kind of surprised about. But part of having a routine involves eliminating a lot of choices (or non-choices, really) from your daily life. However, this is a good thing because you end up factoring out a lot of low-value choices, instead allocating your resources toward high-value choices. It’s why Buffett takes the same five-minute ride to work, stops at the same McDonald’s for breakfast, and goes through the same routine every day. He allocates resources very efficiently.
That all said, high-value, high-quality, high-level options are wonderful. The more of them you have, the more contentment, peace of mind, and happiness you’ll very likely find in your life. I may not make a choice on my daily coffee (I go to the same coffee shop at the same time and order the same coffee, almost every day), but having the choice to, say, live almost anywhere in the world is pretty amazing.
Hope all is well as you give Mexico a try! 🙂
Best wishes.
This comment reminded me of a book (and TedTalk) by Barry Schwartz: The Paradox of Choice. It is certainly possible to get overwhelmed with choices and getting stuck in analysis paralysis, and never being satisfied after finally making a decision. Do you need a pair of jeans? Well, do you want relaxed fit, straight fit, slim fit, skinny, or boot cut? Do you want low, medium or high rise? Do you want stonewashed, enzyme washed, acid washed? And on and on…
I ran into this issue as I hit FI and suddenly the whole world opened up to me. I don’t need to live anywhere for a job or family, so I am free to go wherever I want. Great! But…..where? Do I stay in the US? Move to Australia or New Zealand? Southeast Asia? Western Europe? Eastern Europe? Scandinavia? Do I travel somewhere new once a month, every three months, every year?
And, as Barry Schwartz warns, when given too many choices, people are more likely to be dissatisfied with their choice. “Yeah, these straight fit jeans are nice, but maybe I would have been better off with the slim fit…”
I absolutely like having too many choices instead of no choices, but there can certainly be a downside to endless choices.
Travis,
Right. But not every choice is of equal value. And that’s why a lot of successful people auto-pilot low-value choices/options, instead allocating their resources toward more high-value activities (including options/choices they make as they go). I can say that I get up at the same time, eat lunch at the same place, go to the same coffee shop, and order the same food and drinks almost every day. People who get stuck on analysis paralysis spend waaaayyyyy too much time worrying and thinking about meaningless choices. That’s what messes them up. But almost everyone I’ve ever met or talked to that seems to suffer from analysis paralysis exhibits a wide range of qualities that holds them back in life. Said another way, they’re unlikely to end up in the spot we’re talking about, because they’re constantly experiencing massive drag on their valuable resources, making the entire discussion moot.
I have another article already written about this. It’s somewhat complementary to this piece, but it tackles the value of instituting daily habits/routines that allow you to better allocate your resources toward high-value options/choices/ventures. 🙂
Best regards!
Hi Jason,
I agree with auto-piloting the low-value choices. I have two pairs of jeans that I rotate between, I have all the same style t-shirts (just a few different colors), I eat the same healthy lunch every day, I have two dinners that I rotate between, etc.
While I was prepared for (and excited to make) some high-value choices, it was still a bit overwhelming. The mindset that helped me was remembering the decisions weren’t forever. I’m not selecting a new place to live *forever* — I’m just moving *for a little while*. If that is a month or a year, it doesn’t matter. That helped take the pressure off my decision-making process and made it more enjoyable than stressful.
Hey Travis, I saw your response and wanted to respond to ‘But…..where? Do I stay in the US? Move to Australia or New Zealand? Southeast Asia? Western Europe? Eastern Europe? Scandinavia? Do I travel somewhere new once a month, every three months, every year?’ Yes, yes, and more yes! If you so choose. I believe that the difference between empowered choices and overwhelm / reaction is that the former is going to something (creation), and the latter is moving away from something (escapism). As Jason so aptly said, in the face of so many options, what we choose will help reveal our innermost being. Or, if I was to speak personally, I believe that I will be defined by my choices. Love this post!
Hi Jason, I think having options is what financial independence is all about. I think having options leads to a very satisfying life situation. Tom
Tom,
Absolutely! 🙂
Cheers.
“Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.” – Chris Rock
This is so true!! I find getting up and going to my second job is much easier knowing I DON”T HAVE TO go. I make enough money from my primary job and IF I really wanted to I could quit at any time and still be able to pay all my bills. I have the option of do I want to keep my side hustle going.
Right now the answer is hell yea! The grind continues!
Always inspiring Mr. Free!
MH,
Absolutely. Munger and Buffett have always pointed to the fact that they never necessarily set out to become rich; they just wanted independence. They wanted the options that were necessary in order to live life on their terms. As Munger (dryly) puts it: they overshot. 🙂
Cheers!
Great post, Jason! I’m with you 100% that options create authenticity. I think life can be a lot more satisfying when you get the opportunity to make choices of how you want to spend time. It sounds like you’re having the time of your life over in Chiang Mai. It’s really inspiring and awesome to know that a whole new life is out there. I also liked that quote by Chris Rock. There’s definitely some truth to that. Thanks for sharing!
RTC,
Glad you enjoyed the post!
I just couldn’t imagine living any other life other than one that’s completely and totally authentic. I’d feel almost fraudulent otherwise. But we need to have the options first. We need that framework in place. Only then can one make the choices that best represent who they really are.
Hope all is well! 🙂
Best regards.
Another great article.
Whenever I talk to anyone about becoming financially independent or “retiring” I usually end up clarifying it’s the striving to have a choice or options that I’m most after. I need to start leading with that.
Also loved the story about the guy feeling stuck in paradise due to the lack of options, really resonated with me as I’ve often thought about ditching work and driving around the country in an RV trying my hand at blogging or just living off investments, but fear that if things didn’t work out and as I don’t have enough investments to fund a full early retirement, I would get stuck there.
Also really interesting Chris Rock line that I actually wrote down when I heard him say it in one of his bits on Sirius…
Regardless, keep up the great work, and I’m glad to hear everything is going so well out there for you! If I can ever make it out there (which I will), would love to meet up for a coffee, or better yet, some Thai food!
NMD,
Absolutely. It’s about having options. I know that I’m living a life authentic to who I truly am because I don’t have to do anything of this. I choose to live this way because it makes me happy, and that choice is made in the face of many other possible choices. So there’s peace of mind and contentment in that. It’s bliss. It really is.
But I wouldn’t necessarily fear getting stuck. I wrote an article not too long ago about not fearing worst-case scenarios. Unless you’re a reckless fool, your new downside is almost always your previous upside. There’s very little fear to rationally suffer when you approach major moves correctly.
There’s plenty of cheap, delicious food to be had out here. If you ever make it out, do drop a line! 🙂
Cheers.