I was always fascinated by the nature versus nurture discussion.
There must be something innate, within our DNA, about our individual structures that compel us to do certain things. We travel certain paths. We make our individual decisions/choices.
Likewise, our experiences must also shape us in some way, giving us some measure of perspective that then naturally impacts current and future decisions.
What percentage of each one accounts for who we are is certainly up for debate, although I’m in the camp that believes that nature makes up the larger portion of the two. (If I had to put a number on it, I’d say 80% nature.)
My Nature Versus Nurture
I’ve discussed my own “nurture” quite a bit.
It’s not been pretty.
I grew up extremely poor. My classmates and neighbors in Detroit mostly hated me and routinely screamed racial epithets at me. I had very little parenting throughout my formative years. I was adopted at 11. My dad was a drug dealer. My mother was a drug addict who committed suicide when I was 21.
If nurture were what impacted me more than nature, I wouldn’t be in very good shape right now.
However, even at a young age, I was enticed by the idea of early retirement. Nobody gave me information on this. Nobody ever sat me down and talked about money. But I still always had this idea in the back of my mind.
I remember having to wake up early for school – when I did end up going to school – and thinking to myself how awesome it would be to be able to wake up whenever I want. I hated waking up to an alarm clock. I hated waking up early. The whole thing bothered me ever since I could remember. And I just knew there had to be a way to avoid that whole thing.
It dawned on me at some point that the best way to accomplish this would be to somehow not have to work for a living. I’d obviously have to be my own boss and/or develop passive income in order for this to happen.
Well, I now count on waking up without an alarm clock as one of my favorite things about this lifestyle.
There would sometimes be these real estate infomercials that would come on the TV when I’d stay up too late in my high school years. While I never had the desire to manage a real estate empire, I just knew that I had to somehow put myself in a like position where my income would be generated passively, or at least without the need to have a job I strongly disliked.
See, I can’t think of any job in this world that I’d like doing for 40-50 hours per week… 48-50 weeks per year… 40 years of my life. I mean, I like eating pizza. But if I had to fill a quota of pizza eaten and/or sold, deal with pizza drama, and attend meetings on pizza for most of my waking hours over the course of decades of my life, I’d get tired of pizza real fast. Papa John seems like a nice guy, but I don’t want him (or any other boss) lording over me.
I was born an introvert. A natural INTJ. I’m a homebody. Has nothing to do with my nurture, as getting out of the house when I was young was preferred – it was just such a terrible place to be. I used to ride my bike for hours on end, getting as far away from home as I possibly could. (Meanwhile, my sister, who grew up the same way I did, is an extreme extrovert. Go figure.)
But all I’ve ever wanted is a small place of my own where I could spend most of my time reading, writing, and doing whatever I want.
As soon as I could start working, I did. I was 14 years old when I first got a job. I was independent. Nobody paid for anything for me, so I had to go out and make my own money. It’s indeed that independent streak that later inspired me to become financially independent.
Of course, some of that independent streak could be due to nurture, as I also had to be quite independent in my early years. I had to cut grass, shovel snow, and do whatever else I could to make money so that I could eat.
But once I did start landing jobs in my teens and 20s, I realized that jobbing sucks. While I later learned that working is great (especially when it’s on my terms), jobbing – going somewhere simply to exchange time for money – is such a bummer.
Is It Meant To Be?
I wonder if financial independence is almost meant to be for a certain percentage of the population.
I never really fit in. I never wanted a “traditional” or “typical” life.
A house isn’t on my wish list. I don’t particularly desire to have children. Career markers like tenure and vacation mean nothing to me – why aim to have three weeks of vacation when you could have 52 weeks of vacation?!
As an introvert and INTJ personality type, workplace drama and catering to clients was always tough on me. I like quiet spaces like the local coffee shop, where I can listen to music and let my imagination run wild. However, it’s not like I can go down to the local “Imagination Factory” and apply for a job that’ll pay me good money to sit back and craft my ideas.
Moreover, I’ve never really wanted the material possessions that others craved. Frugality and seeking a good value comes pretty naturally to me. Now, growing up poor gave me a lot of perspective. But a lot of other people who grow up poor end up desiring material possessions even more, as if they’re making up for their slow/poor start. Shopping for traditional goods doesn’t do anything for me, as I much prefer shopping for high-quality dividend growth stocks. None of this is a stretch for me. None of this is difficult. I find that this lifestyle comes naturally.
And so I believe that financial freedom was somewhat of an inevitability for me. It’s almost like I was built for it. I’d dare say it was destiny.
Much of the initial hard work is just figuring out the money, which is probably, in retrospect, the easiest part of the whole journey. Once the money is locked down, most of one’s time and energy will likely then be focused on figuring out how to be a happier and more fulfilled person.
Since I couldn’t find a “job” that ever really fit me, I decided to set out to create “work” that improved my world and the world around me. There was something inside of me that intrinsically motivated me to make this happen.
Indeed, my last name is Fieber. In our community, FIRE = Financial Independence/Retire Early. If you rearrange the letters in my last name, you get: BE FIRE. So my last name translates to: be financially independent and retire early.
Becoming financially independent and/or retiring early is right in my name!
Conclusion
I was on a podcast a while back with a good friend of mine. And we were talking about introverts versus extroverts, noting how it’s probably easier in general for introverts to reach financial independence.
However, I’d take it a step further and say that some people are just built for this lifestyle. Some of us are essentially born to be this way. And that’s kind of a competitive advantage that shouldn’t be taken for granted.
I’ve written before about how I was already financially independent well before I actually hit the crossover point for passive income/expenses, as I envisioned this future me living the lifestyle. It was a foregone conclusion for me because I just knew I was going to make it happen. I lived and breathed will.
But I’d also say that it might have been a foregone conclusion for me because it was the only way I could imagine living my life.
I never wanted what a lot of others want. None of the big material possessions ever did anything for me. I thought that kind of lifestyle would make me happy, because it seemed to make others happy, and so I chased after the typical stuff/life throughout high school and my early 20s. But I realized soon enough that I don’t find value in most of the stuff that everyone else is so busy desiring.
And so the moment I started to deeply delve into this lifestyle, it was like everything fell into place. It was almost like a spiritual awakening for me. When I first found the concept of financial independence, and quickly figured out how to get from Point A to Point B, it seemed to me like it was this lifestyle that was out there just waiting for me to find it.
It quite literally had my name on it!
What do you think? Are some of us built to be financially independent? Is it easier for some of us, based on our nature, to be interested in financial independence and achieve early retirement?
Thanks for reading.
Image courtesy of: Graphics Mouse at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
Jason, this settles it. You are the one the prophecies foretold… The one to lead the rest of us jobbing stiffs to financial independence.
I actually did a bit of research about people’s briggs-meyers personality and how frugal they were expected to be (after accounting for that personalities average income). The top half of the chart is dominated by those ending in ‘TJ’.
The worst ones for saving money? Extroverts with the P (prospecting) at the end.
The point is that a persons nature is absolutely the most important. How important, I don’t know but 80-20 seems to work for most things.
If anyone is interested in my completely unscientific research into it, my article is here. I am an INTJ too, but we didn’t win the top score! Actually, a few extroverts did because they were expected to earn a ton of cash. You know the type, those extroverts that are good making connections in business.
http://www.doublingdollars.com/personality-decide-income-much-save-found-kinda/
MDD,
Hey, that’s really cool that you took the time to kind of scientifically measure it out like that. I had more of an offhand remark about it that then turned into a discussion on it. I can see how extroverts would be far better off on the income side, but they would likely just as naturally be limited when it came time to save money. Since it’s more about what you save than what you make, it seems that certain personality types are more inclined to reach FI fairly quickly. Plus, I think this lifestyle is a far better fit for introverts. If I were an extrovert, I’m not sure I’d like it very much.
Certain people seem more destined for FI based on not just the ability/desire to be frugal/minimalistic, but also due to the ability/desire to avoid the side effects that jobs tend to come with. In the end, it’s kind of a gift and a curse. I’m very happy. But that’s because all of this suits me really well.
Thanks for dropping by!
Best wishes.
I think a lot of people want to be financially independent, but they let things get in way. People often think “toys” will make them happy. People get money and buy things like sea-doos, skidoos, boats, motorcycles, quads etc saying they deserve them. At the same time, they do not listen to themselves when they say things like “I hate my job”, “I got to get out of this job”, or “this is a dead end job going nowhere”. Toys might make you more happy (when they are bought with income from a job) in the short term, but they will become a burden and keep you longer in the rat race. Some people loves their jobs, by it is a well known fact that a large majority do not.
I think passive income makes life easier. The more passive income makes life less stressful. No such thing as a safe secure job. Even the military jobs are not secure anymore.
I think some people are more wired to reach financial independence early. Like you, I am INTJ. Working at a job is extremely tough as it is near impossible to fit in within any workplace culture. I made sacrifices when I was working to build passive income to lessen the burden when I am not working. When I get working again, I am going to push even harder to get out of the rat race.
We all know people who have plans before they even get their paycheck. These people are often stressed out of their minds and are quick to snap at people. These types of people will never get out of the rat race.
IP,
Indeed. This all seems “normal” and “natural” to us. But that’s probably because we’re built a certain way. I really do believe that a lot of this depends on your unique structure/DNA. I’m not discounting all of the hard work I put in (and I put in plenty), but there’s a certain amount of good fortune there (not just my nature, but also being born white… in the 80s… in the USA…).
If I wouldn’t have really made a strong push toward this lifestyle in 2009, I’d for sure be miserable right now. I’d be living a life that’s not well suited for me. And a lot of other people would be scratching their heads as to why that would be so. Likewise, a lot of people out there “don’t get” this lifestyle. To each their own, I say. In the end, you should be building a life that maximizes your potential, happiness, and personal fulfillment. If that’s financial freedom (because of the way you are), that’s wonderful. If it’s not, that’s also great. You should be you. You should be authentic.
Cheers!
As a fellow INTJ, I agree some of the things you said here. However I loved the work I did since it fit my personality, but I loathed the corporate politics which is why I jumped at the chance to leave the job and start my side consulting business. I never really equated my personality type with my desire for financial independence. Maybe you are on to something here.
TPM,
Loving what you do is great. I wrote a lengthy article about that not too long ago – about doing what you love (and never working a day in your life). The problem is that there are a lot of ancillary issues/tasks/headaches that one has to take on with a job. Plus, you may love your job, but your job may not always love you. Financial freedom gives one a ton of flexibility. It’s invaluable.
But not everyone is well suited for the desire, journey, and achievement of financial independence. In the end, I think you should do you. Be honest with yourself and live authentically. For me, I’ve come to realize that this lifestyle is a natural fit based on who I am as a person. If it weren’t right, I wouldn’t live this way. I’m living true to who I am. And it feels wonderful. I can only hope that others can be so fortunate and forthright to chase after and experience that authenticity in their own lives. 🙂
Best wishes!
My own n=2 is that this article makes perfect sense to me, while my wife (who is also introverted) doesn’t aspire to be financially independent. She’s perfectly fine getting up to alarm everyday and going to the office. She says she enjoys it and doesn’t have the desire to do her own thing.
That being said, she also admits that she’d rather be doing something meaningful, but still structured, like working at a nonprofit, or volunteering her time or something.
Steve,
Yeah, it’s interesting how many people can look at the same thing and come up with wildly different answers/feedback. I think that’s just largely our own unique makeup, as my sister, who grew up exactly as I did, is a totally different person than me. And my ex, who I was with for many years, never understood the value of or desire for this lifestyle (although she remained largely supportive throughout).
In the end, there’s no “right” or “wrong” lifestyle/answer. As long as you’re not hurting others, you should simply aim to live in a way that maximizes your happiness. This lifestyle is authentic for me. I’m living true to who I am. But it took me a little while to figure out exactly why that is. It turns out that I’m just built for this. I’m glad I found it, because I’d be pretty miserable otherwise (as I was for years beforehand).
Thanks for dropping by!
Cheers.
Jason –
Very nice and think it’s very cool that your name has the right letters. You are who you have perspired to be and are doing it on your own terms. You went for it and are Jason the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep. Keep the FIRE going.
-Lanny
Lanny,
The FIRE isn’t ever dying out for me. It’s an eternal flame. 🙂
Thanks for dropping by!
Cheers.
Your journey is so inspiring Jason! I think the earlier someone discovers that financial independence even exists, the better. But then comes the discipline and the hard work to actually make it a reality. I don’t know if that is a personality trait or if that can be learned, probably a bit of both.
AT,
Definitely. The earlier, the better. I wish I would have started at 21. I would have been FI by 30. It won’t be easy, regardless, but getting an early start helps tremendously.
However, I just think some people will never get that start because they aren’t built for the lifestyle, for whatever reasons. I’ve personally met many people just like this, including my ex. Nothing wrong with it, as this lifestyle isn’t necessarily inherently any better than any other lifestyle. In the end, it’s all about what makes you happy. I personally enjoy minimalism, frugality, investing, etc. It’s just a natural fit for me. Others have no desire to live as I do. To each their own. The important thing is to be honest about what kind of life you want, and then you have to be authentic to that.
Thanks for stopping by!
Best regards.
I think it is way more complicated, you and I are different as night and day. My parents were nearly perfect, loved everyone, never made a racial or class based remark in my presence. I was the class brainiac, turned engineer. Loved my job, loved work and building something that will outlive me. Love my kids and wife of 39 years but still reached FI long ago. And yes, now I get up when I want and my side gigs are solely what I choose. So we are alike in that, and both introverts. But our paths are much different to get here. I admire you for fighting through so many barriers. My life has been easy versus yours. But I feel confident you are winning at life.
Steveark,
I’ve noticed a lot of engineers in this niche. It seems like every other person seeking financial independence is an engineer. Coincidence? I don’t believe so.
You grew up very differently from me. That’s why I believe nurture has very little to do with it. That doesn’t mean that nurture is meaningless, but rather I just think that nurture is far less consequential than nature. Indeed, you were simply built to desire/achieve financial independence. Others aren’t built that way. I’m very, very glad I did all that I did, but much of that joy comes from knowing that I’m living true to who I am.
Cheers!
For a moment I thought I was reading Bieber on Fire 🙂 just kidding.
Great stuff, holistic view looking at things and great empowering your inner self as an introvert to be loud on the inside. How do you motivate yourself now that you’ve reached the goal itself?
Daddy B,
Sounds like someone has Bieber fever. 🙂
As for motivating myself now that I’ve reached the goal, that’s pretty much what the entire blog is about. I’d recommend reading through the archives. That’s most of what I write about nowadays.
Thanks for dropping by!
Cheers.
Making up for their childhood is a very common thing I see people do when they finally make good money at their job and blow it on things or their children that they didn’t get to do when they were younger. It’s sad in a way though. I understand that they would do anything for their kids but buying them unnecessary gifts because other kids at school have them or buying you a new truck because you “deserve” it after driving junk for a long time.
I don’t envy people that make more money but it does bother me that they aren’t using it to their potential to make a change in their lives when that same amount of money would cover my expenses more than four times over and you have a debt collection of worthless things. I just can’t stand to hear the excuses they make when $90,000 a year isn’t enough.
The older I get the more I don’t like going out and talking to people haha
EPerk31,
Yeah, what someone “deserves” is something I just wrote about. I’d argue that if you really think you “deserve” something amazing, there couldn’t be anything better to desire than financial freedom. Sure beats the hell out of pretty much any material possession I could think of.
I’m actually not bothered by other people’s decisions with money. That’s because I don’t pay any attention. I don’t compare. I don’t worry. I only concentrate on making myself the best I can be. Every second I waste worrying about what others are doing with their money/lives is one less second I can spend taking care of myself. This is a key part of my success. It’s also why I’ve been able to blog/write for so long. Trolls/haters just don’t bug me at all. I pay no mind. 🙂
Best regards!
Great article Jason. How about a link to that podcast? I’m interested to listen to it!
Charles,
It was from years ago. I don’t think it exists anymore. I only did a few episodes. I found it to be far too time consuming.
Cheers!
You created your own financial destiny. There’s no denying that fact. Was it easy or hard? That’s always something to be debated among people viewing your life from the outside. While most complain about their lives daily, frequently run into cash shortages, do not like their work/profession you chose not to complain but to take action. That’s where most people fail, in taking action. It’s easy to complain but to make a life change is difficult and the results are largely unknown which leads to fear and fear often leads to paralysis which just puts you back into the same spot you started from, complaining about your life. A job well done, an inspiration to all. Keep on going!
Keith,
Definitely agree. Taking action is uncommon because it’s very difficult. Achieving financial freedom is simple but difficult. Simple because it’s not hard to figure out, but difficult because it’s extremely challenging to actually implement the necessary changes in one’s everyday life. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
That said, I think some people are just built with more “intestinal fortitude”. I’m glad that I have a certain nature that allows me this predisposition toward tackling big challenges in life. I thrive on that stuff. Others do not.
I’m in great shape. I’m relatively wealthy. I’m incredibly happy. Took a lot of hard work to get here. But there’s also some measure of good fortune there. Even just waking up tomorrow without some weird cancer that has nothing to do with one’s lifestyle is a stroke of good luck that I’m grateful for.
Cheers!
Hi Jason,
Great article.
I am INTJ as well. Agree with your basic comments.
I am clearly reaching the financial independence point and am semi-retired. I spend a lot of time reading about investing and dividend stocks – and really enjoy it.
Here’s my problem – I feel “guilty” about not having a FT job – the part of my job that I liked was the strategic part, I hated the politics – do you have any advice on how I can better understand what’s going on in my head?
Thanks.
Best regards,
Sam
Sam,
Can’t say I’ve ever felt guilty about any of this. I feel fortunate. And grateful. But not guilty, because there was a lot of hard work necessary on my part.
This entire blog was built to talk about the “why” and “what” of financial independence. I’m sharing everyday moments, activities, and mindsets that help me make the most of this great opportunity. If you haven’t already, I’d recommend reading from the beginning, keeping in mind that it’s an ongoing journey.
Hope that helps!
Best wishes.
Guess I’m more neurotic than you! Lol
Cheers,
Sam
Very clever…per usual…Jason! 🙂 Your story/journey is/are impressive. Your humble yet can-do attitude has served you well. I’m very happy for you and enjoy MR. Free@ 33 even more than Dividend Mantra which seems to have fallen into the hands of The Three Stooges if not Keystone Cops. 😉 At any rate…keep up the great work!
Jon,
Thank you. Really appreciate that. And I’m glad you’re enjoying the new site. I’m extremely proud of the message/content here. I honestly think the quality of the content here greatly exceeds the quality of the content I was doing before, although the focus has obviously shifted toward bigger ideas (and away from just stock analysis/commentary).
Hope all is well for you! 🙂
Best regards.
Amazing article, Jason! I could almost quote the entire piece and claim the same for me. You described exactly why the traditional day job is not fulfilling and hard to deal with. You also described perfectly what life is like for introverts. I dream of just having a quiet secluded office that is just my own to blog, read and work on investing in.
In response to your questions, I do think some of us are more inclined towards financial independence. I used to attempt to get people I know to see things the FI way. Now, I realize that I’m the one who is different, and I understand that I don’t value the same things they do (cars, houses, job titles, income level etc).
Furthermore, jobbing does suck. Once you realize that you’re different and that you won’t find happiness with any single job out there, the only options are entrepreneurship or FI. It is almost enlightening when you figure that out. It makes it so easy to do things that other people deem as sacrifices because you value time and FI more. I do think a lot of it is influence and wanting to impress parents, however, I agree with you that nature is the biggest factor.
Really enjoyed the read! Thanks for sharing!
Graham,
Appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed the piece! 🙂
I agree with you. It’s a relief once you realize that the normal/typical path just isn’t for you. At that point, you can start to kind of figure things out and navigate from there. The real heartache develops when you ignore the signs, try to fit in, and end up miserable. If you’re not being authentic, you’re going to be unhappy. I’m just really glad that I decided to start down this path (after being really honest with myself) in my late 20s. I only wasted a few years or so.
Thanks for dropping by!
Best wishes.