I used to laugh at the idea of full-time work being 40 hours per week.
40 hours???
That’s lightweight stuff!
I was regularly putting in over 50 hours per week at work in the auto industry, where I worked as a service advisor. It was expected. It was the de facto workweek.
In fact, one dealership I worked at had crazy intermittent Monday hours where I’d come in at 7:30 in the morning and leave at 9:00 at night. Yippee!
Being overworked and overstressed isn’t really good for one’s health or psyche, but I actually think, for me, my career made me more introverted and cynical than I naturally am.
A Born Introvert
Now, I’m not the kind of guy who brings the party with me. I don’t do well in big crowds.
I almost never drink alcohol, so hanging out at bars has never been my thing. Small talk is equally difficult for me.
My preference is for quiet places where I can have one-on-one conversations that go beyond surface discussions about work, weather, and women. I enjoy having a deep dialogue, which is, in part, why this site exists. If I can’t have a deep discussion, I’ll instead shoot for deep exposition. Moreover, I love being a coach, as it allows me to take conversations where they usually never go.
With this in mind, I certainly don’t “blame” my prior job for somehow scarring me for life or something. My personality didn’t make a long-term 180-degree change.
However, there was a substantial change in how I looked at people and the broader world around me during my nine-year career.
Becoming More Introverted And Cynical
There’s something about being in a position of servitude (a wage slave) that can make one more dour than they otherwise might be.
I’ve been screamed at mercilessly because someone over-revved and blew the engine in their $150,000 Porsche.
I’ve had keys thrown at me by an upset customer, after their third visit in a row for the same issue.
I’ve had technicians refuse to work on cars, believing that their rotation in the workflow was unfair and biased.
The list goes on and on and on…
But I won’t bore you.
Instead, I’ll just note that this has a way of adding up over time, even for someone that considers himself an eternal optimist.
What happened over time is this: I started to become more introverted and cynical.
I wanted to go out on weekends less and less, instead preferring to just stay home where I could mentally and physically recuperate from the demands that my career placed on me. I was tired all the time. The last thing I wanted to do on a Saturday night was go out and have fun when I was just so tired from working 50 or 60 hours the prior week. All I could think of doing all weekend, almost every weekend, was relaxing.
Of course, this worked out to my benefit, seeing as how I was spending less, investing more, and cranking up the velocity that my rocket needed to escape the gravitational pull of my job. As I’ve written about before, I’m glad to have had a job I hated.
But I also started to see the worst in people. I was in a position of servitude (both to bosses and customers) all the time, which can make you a cynic. I naturally have this interesting juxtaposition occurring inside of me, being an INTJ personality type, where I simultaneously see all these possibilities for us as a species but yet also what most people choose to do in reality. There’s this optimist and pragmatist always battling against one another, but I do think the constant exposure to something so cumbersome gave more power to the inner cynic.
The bosses have quotas regarding parts sales, labor hours, and survey scores. The technicians only want “gravy” jobs where they can log four hours of flat time for something that only takes two hours. The customers want us to fix their cars perfectly right the first time, every time. And my co-workers would often try to steal easy jobs that earned high commissions while sticking me with terrible jobs and miserable customers.
Speaking of co-workers, seeing these people walk/run around like zombies every day made me feel like all of these shows depicting the zombie apocalypse were on to something. Walk to the shop. Deliver repair order. Listen to technician complain. Check with parts. Call customer. Finalize invoice. Walk to cashier. Collect payment. Walk back to office. Rinse. Repeat. It’s the same thing every single day. It made me want to just escape it all.
And being screamed at because some $100,000 car needs a $750 maintenance or repair, while 800 million people around the world are essentially starving, just kind of blows your mind when you think about it all.
One starts to lose their hope in people a little bit when you have this dynamic that pits you against others. And you become shocked when people who seem to be surrounded by money and luxury aren’t really all that happy at all.
But this, too, proved to be a blessing in disguise, as it further reinforces my belief that more money does not make one happier once they have their needs and a few wants covered. Owning a $100,000 car and a $2 million house doesn’t paint a smile on your face.
The Extrovert In Me Blossoming
But things are different these days.
I haven’t clocked in at a dealership since May 2014.
And I feel more hopeful, inspired, and extroverted than ever.
No longer being in a position of servitude where I’m simultaneously competing against co-workers for a buck has made a tremendous difference in my outlook on life and how I interact with people.
First, I want to get out more than ever.
I’m home a lot. I don’t have an office any more. I can literally write, read, and check the Full-Time Fund from my bedroom, if I want to. That means I don’t even have to leave the bed.
But is that really where I want to be? In bed all day?
No.
This situation has the effect of motivating me to get out of the house. I look forward to going out for walks, hitting the gym, visiting the beach, riding the bus, hanging out at the local Starbucks, or going out for a bite to eat downtown.
I want to be surrounded by people and the world around me more than ever. Instead of seeing home as this refuge from this miserable job, home instead becomes a bit of a prison that keeps me away from a beautiful world.
That newfound perspective has caused me to be just a little less introverted and just a little more extroverted.
Second, I treat people in roles of service with a lot of respect and patience.
I waited tables back in college, before I ended up a service advisor. So I’ve been in a position of serving others for most of my life. Even now, I technically serve you readers with content. I also serve clients as a coach.
Well, these experiences of being on the other side of the counter has only served to reinforce my respect for those that now serve me.
When I interact with anyone serving me (from a barista to a bus driver), I’m really thankful for that person’s service. And I go out of my way to let them know. I try to be a better customer. Through that, I think I’m a better person.
That’s because I’m less cynical.
Instead of spending a lot of my time around customers who were unhappy to see me, superiors that were never satisfied, or co-workers trying to eat my lunch (sometimes literally – I’d occasionally have my lunch stolen), I’m now spending my time around people driving me where I need to go, serving me up a great cup of coffee, or bringing me food I enjoy eating.
I’m taking advantage of the service economy rather than it taking advantage of me.
I’m also able to spend more quality time and energy around people close to me because I’m not all used up. And I’m also spending more time around non-people that brighten up my day more than I can ever say.
Conclusion
Whereas before I just wanted to shelter myself from the world and relax after brutal workweeks at the dealership, I now want to get out of the house more than ever.
And where I used to be a cynic due to my perspective, I now see a totally different side to people and the world I live in.
No longer being in a position of service, I’m freed of expectations by others while simultaneously assuming the best about those around me.
I appreciate people more than before. I appreciate service more than ever. The world is just a little brighter and better than it was before, for me. And I genuinely want to make the world a better place now that I’m able to enjoy such a blessing at an incredibly young age. Instead of wanting to throw keys back at someone who just threw them at my face (do I look like Mike Piazza or something?), I’m thinking about how to inspire people, make the world a better place, and pursue happiness with every ounce of my being.
This shift in lifestyle has had a dramatic impact on my mindset. My thoughts are no longer consumed by tasks that do nothing for my happiness, which has freed up my time, creativity, and energy. And all of this has shifted where I’m at in terms of hedonic adaptation, too.
Essentially, I’m able to spend more time, creativity, and energy on things that matter to me and actually move the dial in regards to my overall quality of life. My entire outlook has changed. And I’m feeling more optimistic, extroverted, and happy than ever before!
What do you think? Does your job make you more introverted and cynical? Do you think financial freedom will free you from some of that, allowing you to spend more time on things that actually matter to you? Are you interested in becoming financially independent? If so, check out my coaching service.
Thanks for reading.
Image courtesy of: iosphere at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
Not to turn this into “who’s country is better”, but seriously, that kind of customer behaviour wouldn’t happen anywhere else in the western world.
Tom,
I’m not sure if it’s a cultural thing. It seemed the more luxurious the car was, the more I experienced abhorrent behavior. Seems rather like a socioeconomic thing to me, which just further reinforces my belief system on money on happiness. 🙂
Cheers!
Amazing post Jason!
As a fellow introvert currently working in the service economy I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve thought a lot about how just the aspects of the service industry can make people cynical. When you add in a dash of newly-formed ideas about consumerism, spending and happiness after you’ve realized that the new car, 3 restaurant meals a day and piles of stuff are all just weights and chains, it can push you over the edge.
Thankfully I’ve found a point now where I can still think about those things but can use them as fuel for the FIRE (pun intended!). I try to remember that while I’ve worked hard to put myself in a position where financial independence is possible, I’ve also had a lot of luck getting here. Just knowing that today I’m actively building a life free from work in a few years makes the day to day onslaught seem more bearable. And the more progress I make the lighter I begin to feel.
Matt,
Thanks so much!
I agree totally. It’s bad enough to be in a situation where you’re spending most of your waking hours feeling like you’re not really adding value to your life. Add in the realization that it’s all for not in terms of adding happiness and you start to feel really bummed out.
Thankfully, I did the same thing as you. I used that all of that as motivation. As I’ve written about before, I’m glad to have had a job I didn’t like very much. It motivated me like crazy to get out and start living life on my terms. Thanks to the misery I felt at work, I’m now free. And due to that freedom, I’m now more extroverted, happy, and optimistic. It’s really an incredible transformation.
The more progress I made, the easier the grind became. But moving along the spectrum freedom also tempted me to just jump ship. And I’m glad I did. Time is the most valuable commodity of all. Far more valuable than money. I realized at some point there that I was always going to make more money. So it made sense to hoard more time instead.
Thanks for adding that!
Best wishes.
I enjoy my job, in part because I don’t need it too much.
Working in the service industry itself is rough (I haven’t done that since I was 18), and feeling enslaved to it would make it even harder.
For me, my job made me more outgoing because I have to manage so many business relationships, although I’m still an introvert (INTJ as well).
Lyn,
I also enjoy my work nowadays, as the writing and coaching is technically work. But I enjoy it because it’s all on my terms. I show up when I want. Stop when I want. Eat when I want. Work with whom I want. So on and so forth. Makes a huge difference.
Entrepreneurial opportunities are perhaps just as valuable (or more so) as financial independence. But FI gives one the courage, flexibility, and financial firepower to pursue certain opportunities.
I think one will go on to continue working long after financial freedom is achieved, especially if it’s achieved at a young age. But you hit the nail on the head when you said you don’t need it too much. Working because you want to, rather than because you have to, is the name of the game. 🙂
Thanks for dropping by!
Cheers.
“Second, I treat people in roles of service with a lot of respect and patience. ”
Right on brother!
I think work had the opposite effect on me. I was an accountant and the actual work was sort of mind numbing. The only bright spots were when I took a break to interact with a flesh and blood human. It was preferable to have someone call me a MF to grinding out more spreadsheets that I knew management would scarcely even read.
FV,
Haha. That’s funny.
I can very much see how work had an opposite effect on you. But I can also see how you were motivated to get out of that. Having the right balance of interaction and private time is a great benefit to all of this.
Thanks for adding that!
Cheers.
I think this is just a great example of how having to work for money really interferes with enjoying your life. Being able to do what you want, when you want, really changes up how you view the world.
I do some bike messenger deliveries as a side hustle (sort of like an Uber for deliveries) and I’ve had people more than once tell me that I look like I’m having a lot of fun doing it. And they’re right. I’m out and about, biking around, getting exercise. And I don’t need that side hustle money at all, so there’s no pressure for me to act a certain way. I’m not FI yet, but I imagine that it’s a similar feeling.
Financial Panther,
Absolutely. When you’re forced to exchange your time for money, you lose the ability to be authentic. You lose control. And I think you lose a piece of yourself in the process.
Your bike messenger gig is just like the writing and coaching I do. I do it because I enjoy it. It’s “work” in the sense that there’s an exchange of time for money, but it’s really not work at all. I’d continue doing it even if I were a billionaire. Financial independence isn’t something that’s all about leisure. Financial freedom is really just an opportunity to align your passions with your lifestyle. You get to live life on your terms. And the odds are pretty good that many of the pursuits you’re interested in will pay money, which makes a lot of the early retirement math moot. You’re definitely right in that FI is a similar feeling. 🙂
Cheers!
Jason,
Lots of jobs have that effect. People are too tired and not treated with respect by their coworkers and/or management. That is what work is like for me, and this is one of the reasons I want to be financially independent. |Working made me an even bigger introvert. A few people treated me good at work.
I often hear people say they love their job, but they often complain when they have to work and they are tired after working. These people also like to spend like crazy.
I used to work an evening shift job M-F and a day shift job on Sunday. I often times worked 15 to 20 hours during the daytime M-F. This was every single week for a couple of years. I am an introvert and I do not like big crowds either.
IP,
Right. I’m with you.
It’s tough to find a traditional job where you’re able to go in and have a really good time. That’s why, I think, financial independence is so important. It allows you to seek out those unconventional or entrepreneurial opportunities with little regard for money. You’re in control when that happens. And it totally changes the dynamic. You feel completely different. I think you end up feeling like the real you. That’s how it worked for me.
Wish you much luck and success as you strive toward financial independence!
Best regards.
Hey Buddy, thank you for this inspiring article. Regarding your portfolio: I am also a huge fan of dividend stocks, but what do you think about tech giants like Amazon, Alphabet and so on, this could also be another pillar of your portfolio. I think, its all in the mix. Keep on rockin’ ! Best regards from Germany! Blessings to you and your beloved ones!
checktheflow,
No problem. I’m blessed to be in a position to provide value and inspiration to the community. 🙂
As for your question, I think your username says it all: I check the flow. And by “flow”, I mean cash flow. And when it comes to cash flow, I want to see it regularly increasing without any input from me.
If a company isn’t regularly growing profit, I’m not interested in owning a slice. If it is regularly growing profit, I demand my piece of the growing profit pie (via growing dividends). It’s an investment philosophy that has served me well. To each their own.
Thanks for dropping by!
Best regards.
Jason,
Great article. That service advisor job sounds like hell. No wonder you were motivated to get out.
I can relate because I worked as an airline customer service rep for five years (this was back in the 90’s). I spent several years working at the ticket counter, checking people in for their flights, printing boarding passes, checking their luggage, etc. Like you, I’ve been screamed at by a lot of angry customers. Having to tell people their flight is cancelled (and the next one is not for six hours), or that it is oversold so they don’t have a seat (even though they paid for it months ago), caused an incredible amount of rage and verbal abuse. At times it got so bad we had to call the cops.
I know you didn’t mention this in your article, but I did take a few positive lessons away from that experience. Maybe you did as well. Being in a customer service job really gives you an insight into human nature. Yes, much of it is ugly and depressing, but you also learn what makes people tick and how to deal with them.
For instance, we would often have people show up late for a flight, or without a boarding pass, and then start screaming at us when we said they couldn’t get on the plane. When someone starts screaming at you for something that is not your fault, the natural human reaction is to scream right back at them. Of course as a customer service rep you can’t do that, but many people argue back in a “barely polite” way with them. A bit more sinister is the passive aggressive response — I knew more than one ticket counter colleague, after being verbally abused by a passenger, who would deliberately check their bag to the wrong city, as “payback.”
My big epiphany, after being shouted at regularly for a few years, was to just not react. I found even if they were 100% wrong and I was 100% right, explaining this to them only made them more angry. When I instead just listened to them and nodded sympathetically, 9 times out of 10 they’d wind down after a few minutes, and many would apologize to me in the end. This was a tremendous lesson, because this gave me an insight into human nature that goes far beyond customer service. This works in any kind of interpersonal relationship. I’d observe fellow ticket agents arguing with passengers and explaining that they were wrong, and just receive increasing venom back. When I would just listen and sympathize, they often lost their anger and changed.
P.S.: I absolutely agree with rich people not being happier. I worked in the Denver airport, and one of the regular flights we serviced went to Aspen. I saw so many rich and famous people flying back and forth to Aspen, and many seemed like miserable human beings. I often thought us lowly $7 an hour airline workers were freer and happier. We just couldn’t afford to buy anything.
Tim
Tim,
Boy, I can only imagine what it’s like to work for an airline at a ticket counter. That’s pretty rough. You’re adding in the stress of travel on top of the normal human interactions that a customer-facing person is used to (which tend to be tense). Not fun. I used to tell people I was a lot like the dentist – people didn’t really want to see me, and they were generally unhappy if they had to.
I agree with you that there are lessons to be learned. I think there are lessons to be learned in every situation – be it good or bad. Everything is an opportunity. However, I’d still prefer to be on the other side of those interactions, which allows my internal optimist to have an advantage over my internal pragmatist. Although you can learn how to best react to those situations, I think one ends up absorbing the brunt of the stress that’s inherent. You’re simply internalizing it, which isn’t really optimal. If it can be avoided altogether, that’s really the best way to go. And financial independence largely allows for that.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing that. I love to hear personal stories like that. If that kind of job can’t motivate you to plot your escape, I don’t know what will! 🙂
Best wishes.
It definitely did motivate me to escape (the airline industry). I changed careers after 5 years, and a big part of it was the stress and being yelled at. Poor pay was also a factor. The big attraction toward working in the airlines is “flight benefits,” but if you can fly for free to every major airport in the U.S., it doesn’t do much good if you can’t afford to rent a car or stay in a motel, once you get there. Now I work in an industry where I have no customer interaction whatsoever, and it is a big relief. Like you, I am always very nice to customer service people because I know what it feels like.
Man, I do not envy your former service job. I never knew so much went into that. And yeah, people suck.
My old job made me more introverted. I started my career as a CPA performing audits of public and private companies. My year was spent going to various clients, bugging them for information, managing a staff of 2-3 people per job, and answering to several managers and partners. At the end of the week, I didn’t want to do anything. Like you, I tend to be more introverted. So being in a role where I constantly had to interact with others, and specifically interact with clients, some of whom were less than thrilled I was there and asking questions was tough at times. I needed to recharge my batteries after work by just being alone or having a low key night with my wife. It’s exhausting playing an extrovert all day when you’re naturally an introvert.
GFY,
Totally know how you feel!
Introverts and extroverts gain and expend energy differently. Extroverts thrive and gain energy in social situations, around people, often in larger groups. They expend energy when they’re alone. Introverts are the opposite. That’s roughly how it works.
But I think this situation for introverts is compounded when you’re put in a role where you’re forced to play defense all the time. Either way, I never ran into anyone who really loved the job I did. I think it’s tough to look forward to working 50-60 hours per week, knowing that you’re going to be put into tense situations pretty often.
Fortunately, we live in a world where attaining financial independence at a fairly early age is possible even for those with relatively modest means. That “get out of jail” card is so useful. And it boggles my mind sometimes that so few take advantage of the opportunities presented. Doing what I can to spread the word, though. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
Best regards.
“to escape the gravitational pull of my job”… excellent metaphor! I’m going to spread it 🙂
Mr. RIP,
Sounds good! 🙂
Cheers.
I feel this way so often. I think it’s easy to be pessimistic and shy when you’re just at work, counting down the hours. I’m currently in this rut and it’s tough to break out of it. But the important part is being yourself outside of work; know joy and seek out friends when you can.
mrspickypincher,
I know that rut all too well. The good news is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 🙂
Definitely agree that it’s important to seek joy whenever and wherever possible. My problem was always that I was so worn out that it was hard to really do much when I had spare time. But if you have that opportunity, you should be pursuing happiness.
Best of luck as you continue to break free!
Cheers.
Does my job make me cynical? My blog says yes.
When I was 16 and about to start my first job at the supermarket, I was eager to work with people. I’d get to meet and chat with all sorts of interesting faces!
Today? These people can all starve to death.
Actually, my very first customers in both supermarkets and banking were nasty to me. People like that are the primary reason in seeking financial freedom. Because I’m done.
So yeah, you’re absolutely right about the effect a meaningless service job has on the way you view others. People to interact with and make each other’s day a little brighter vs problems that you have to deal with on a daily basis. I’d rather those who surround me not fall into the latter category. Like they currently are.
Also, pets are people.
Sincerely,
ARB–Angry Retail Banker
ARB,
Preach, man!
I know how you feel. I always hated feeling that way, too. I’m a really optimistic person. I want to help people. I want to make the world a better and brighter place. And I felt like I was just being dragged through the mud for no reason. It was terrible.
But I feel so much better these days. I mean, once you’re able to realign your focus by spending all of that (otherwise wasted) time/energy/passion on things that matter to you (and the world), everything changes. It’s a massive paradigm shift. And it definitely affects how you view the world. Your whole outlook is different.
Just use that distaste for your job as fuel for your fire. That fire will reach the sky.
Cheers!
It’s tough to not take home the frustrations of work… I think I’m getting better at it but it’s definitely hard. Little things bother you more. Work carries over to personal stress. It’s not good.
FF,
It’s definitely tough. I think the chasing of financial independence surely makes it better, as you know there’s light at the end of the tunnel. And things get even better once you’re able to let go of the job that’s stressing you out. It’s incremental. But it makes a big difference in aggregate. 🙂
Thanks for dropping by!
Best regards.
Just “celebrated” my 17th year as an auto service advisor and I’m only 35. I can wholeheartedly vouch for everything you wrote. Two years ago I began dgi and have now generated enough monthly dividend income to pay my rent. Sold my McMansion last year and have zero debt. This has all led to me being less introverted and anti social as well. My friends and family had no idea what that job takes out of me and I was happy to share your story with them. Life is all about perspective sir. Great job and keep up the good work Jason.
Dustin,
Wow. You started young. 17 years in that industry is really a lifetime.
But good for you for making the changes necessary to eventually buy your freedom. I can tell the job is wearing on you as it wore on me. I always thought if I felt that way in my 30s, I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel physically/emotionally/psychologically in my 50s (if I kept at it). It was taking a look in the mirror and imagining this future self that really motivated me to get out.
Appreciate you spreading the message. It’s a message of hope and inspiration.
Best of luck with your new path!
Cheers.
There is a facebook live video on a guy’s page. This video is “I’m an introvert and proud of it!” This guy has youtube channel also. He is an entrepreneur and lives frugally.
https://www.facebook.com/abdul.s.mohammed.9/videos/10209907305016696/
IP,
Yeah, I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with being an introvert. I’d say I’m an introvert and proud of it, too. But I think, like anything else, you want balance in your life. If you’re really miserable around other people because of certain circumstances (like those I laid out), that’s not really a good spot to be in.
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers.
No offense, but not everyone would be satisfied with your lifestyle. Your retirement is more about how you live and what you are willing to live without. That is, I suspect that many people could easily retire from their day job in their 30s if they could be satisfied with living in an apartment and taking public transportation for the rest of their lives. You are speaking to a select group of people here, but that is ok. I couldn’t live like you though. This coming from a guy who will retire at 44 with enough to live a “normal” lifestyle while also putting two kids through college.
JasonB,
Absolutely. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to anything in life, be it financial independence/early retirement, your diet, your exercise regimen… or anything. It’s all about what works for you. And that’s really what this site is all about. It’s about putting yourself in charge of your own life, so that you can customize your life to your passions and interests. It’s about pursuing happiness and purpose, whatever that may be and look like.
I could have stayed on at the automotive dealership until 44 and surely been a millionaire. I just prefer time over money, and I don’t really value much in life that costs money. The disconnect between money and happiness is readily apparent to me. But your mileage may vary.
Thanks for dropping by!
Cheers.