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Addition Through Subtraction: Get Happy By Creating A “No List”

January 21, 2020 by Jason Fieber 24 Comments

Being happy is a fairly universal goal.

No matter who you are, or where you live, you want to be happy. Nobody wants to be miserable.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are chasing after happiness in the wrong way.

It’s something that people try to buy their way into, adding products or services to their life in an attempt to “get happy”.

This methodology is at the heart of consumerism and marketing.

“If you just buy Item X or Experience Y, you’ll finally be happy!”

So people buy Item X and/or Experience Y, only to find themselves right back where they started after a short-term rush of joy. They then have to buy more and more in order to get the same fix. This is the hedonic treadmill at work.

It’s a broken model.

But I believe a lot of happiness can be found by approaching it in the complete opposite way.

This advice is coming from someone who achieved financial freedom at 33 years old, retired very early, and is now living a wonderful and very happy early retirement lifestyle.

I used to have a job I didn’t like and a bunch of stuff I didn’t need. And I was unhappy.

I now do what I want, when I want, every day. I have a lot less stuff in my life. Yet I’m very happy.

The early retirement lifestyle is one that almost anyone can have, as I lay out in 5 Steps To Retire In 5 Years.

There’s a very simple logic that I’m going to lay out for you today.

It’s not always what you do or buy that matters, but often what you don’t do or buy that matters more.

Knowing this sets you up to actually spend less money and become more happy.

Let me explain.

Learning From Charlie Munger

I’ve learned a lot from Charlie Munger.

The guy is basically rationality embodied in human form. I admire that. And I try to emulate it.

While Warren Buffett (rightly so) gets a lot of credit and attention, Charlie Munger’s wit and wisdom is unmatched by anyone I’ve ever studied. It’s just that Buffett is much more approachable and affable. Munger can be, by comparison, slightly caustic. He doesn’t mince words.

One of my favorite quotes by Munger puts both his caustic nature and wisdom on full display:

It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.

I love this line.

Now, he’s referring to investing here. He’s basically saying that successful long-term investing is more about avoiding being dumb than actively being incredibly smart. Look for the one-foot bars and step over them.

Don’t try to be a genius. Likewise, avoid being an idiot.

If you can consistently be just 1% better than the average person, that cumulatively puts you far, far ahead of the pack. It compounds over time.

A lot of people can’t seem to help themselves when it comes to making poor choices. And these poor choices have a way of cumulatively putting them far behind, compounding in the opposite direction.

Munger is telling us that it’s not always about what you do that matters. It can be just as often about what you avoid doing.

Well, I’ve applied this logic to investing. And it’s turned me into a wealthy guy at a young age, even with incredibly modest means. I don’t hit home runs routinely. But I don’t often strike out, either.

I’ve also applied this logic to the rest of my life.

Saying “No” To Things That Make You Unhappy

If you can become relatively smart by simply avoiding being dumb, the same goes for happiness.

What I’ve done is, I’ve said “no” to that which makes me unhappy.

And by avoiding these things, I’ve basically eliminated this form of gravity from my life that kept a lid on how happy I could possibly be.

If you’re constantly being dumb, you can’t be smart.

And if you’re constantly struggling with things that make you unhappy, you can’t be happy.

Instead of trying to outsmart happiness by buying the things that you believe will make you happy, simply avoid being dumb and get rid of the things in life that make you unhappy.

Most people chase after joy. Instead, simply avoid misery. 

Buying Item X or Experience Y might give you a temporary shot of joy. Sure.

On the other hand, you might have dozens of items or experiences in your life that routinely bother you and weigh on your sense of satisfaction in life.

You have to decide if you want to buy into a short-term sense of elation, or avoid a long-term sense of malaise.

Most people do the former. I’m saying you should do the latter. Be 1% smarter.

The other issue is, buying Item X or Experience Y might end up actually forcing you to spend even more time with these other things in your life that make you unhappy. This totally works against your ability to be content over the long run.

For example, you might strongly dislike your job.

Instead of trying to come up with a lifestyle solution that totally eliminates this job, too many people instead try to cope with this unhappiness by, say, buying a new car. They’re addressing symptoms instead of treating the underlying disease.

Sure, they might feel temporarily better about their job situation when they’re tooling into work in a nice, new ride. But that sense of elation wears off quickly. Yet that job isn’t going anywhere, especially when you now need that paycheck even more than ever in order to pay for that car you just bought!

You end up right back where you were. And the cycle repeats itself all over again.

This would be the opposite of what Munger is saying you should do. And it’s the opposite of how I’ve gone about building my own lifestyle.

Simply put, you can automatically become happier by saying “no” to the things that consistently bother you. 

I’ve said “no” to so many long-term drags on my happiness, instead of saying “yes” to temporary shots of joy. This has a way of naturally lifting my quality of life up and creating a byproduct of additional happiness.

I have a long-term advantage to my quality of life and happiness by not being dumb and avoiding that which makes me unhappy, rather than trying to outsmart happiness and buy things that might make me feel temporarily better.

Create A List Of Things You’ll Say “No” To

I’ve found it incredibly helpful to create a list of all of the things that make me unhappy in life.

That has a way of putting things in perspective. And it offers you a clear path forward, so that you start to figure out exactly what you should aim to eliminate.

Whereas a lot of people create “bucket lists” of the things they’d like to buy or things they’d like to do, I’m saying you should create a “no list” of things you don’t want to have and things you don’t like to do.

Then set out to realize this “no list” by eliminating all of that from your life.

By eliminating this gravity from your life, you’ll feel a weight lifted off of your shoulders. Then you won’t find it such an attractive idea to go out and buy your way into happiness, because you’re already relatively content.

My “No List”

I have my “no list”.

But that’s not to say that it’ll have anything to do with your “no list”.

It’s not important what I’m saying “no” to. What’s important is what you want to say “no” to.

But I want to provide my very own “no list” to you readers so that you have an idea of where I’m coming from on this.

This is a good chunk of my “no list”:

  • A job
  • A boss
  • Cold weather
  • Waking up early
  • Having children
  • High taxes
  • Cooking
  • Cleaning
  • Repairing things
  • Driving
  • Owning a house
  • Owning a car
  • Commuting
  • Having a bunch of bills
  • Spending time with toxic people

I’ve eliminated all of these things from my life. I’ve said “no” to all of it.

And I’m much, much happier as a result. I’m very content with my life.

By eliminating what I don’t like, I’m able to instead focus and spend my time on what I absolutely love.

It’s addition through subtraction.

Subtracting these things from of my life adds quality of life.

I’m not trying to be a genius. I’m simply avoiding being dumb. It’d be dumb to spend a great deal of my time around stuff I don’t like. So I don’t do that.

It’s simple. But it works.

It’s almost like trying to make a heavy car go faster.

You can add horsepower. Spend a bunch of money and time on overcoming the weight.

Or you can eliminate weight.

I’ve eliminated “dead weight” from my life.

Conclusion

Take some time to put a “no list” together for yourself.

Write down all of the things that bother you.

Then start out on a path to a lifestyle that largely eliminates these things. Create addition through subtraction. Get rid of dead weight in your life, eliminate this heavy gravity, rise above it all, and get happy.

I’m flying high these days. But not because I expend a ton of energy (or money). Rather, it’s because I don’t have gravity weighing me down.

You have to decide, right now, if you’d rather chase short-term joy or enjoy long-term contentment.

Like Charlie Munger said, success is not about being incredibly intelligent. It’s instead about not being dumb.

If it’s dumb to spend a lot of your finite and dwindling time on Earth around stuff that bothers you, it’s time to get 1% smarter.

It’s time to get happy.

What do you think? Is Charlie Munger right? What’s on your “no list”?

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If you’d like to be happier and freer in your life, check out some awesome tools and services that I personally used on my way to becoming financially free at 33!

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Filed Under: Happiness

About Jason Fieber

Jason Fieber became financially free at 33 years old by using dividend growth investing to his advantage. Jason has authored two best-selling books: The Dividend Mantra Way and 5 Steps To Retire In 5 Years (also available in paperback).

 

Jason recommends Personal Capital for portfolio management, Mint for budgeting, Schwab for the brokerage account, and Morningstar, Daily Trade Alert, and Motley Fool for stock ideas. This blog is hosted by Bluehost. If you'd like to start your own blog, Jason offers free coaching when you use our Bluehost affiliate link.

 

Jason's writing and/or story has been featured across international media like USA Today, Business Insider, and CNBC.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Patrick says

    January 21, 2020 at 7:08 am

    Really loved this post. Another aspect that makes “addition through subtraction” so powerful is that people are TERRIBLE at knowing what actually makes them happy but are generally good at knowing what makes them unhappy. This asymmetry makes removing negatives a much more powerful strategy.

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 21, 2020 at 7:17 am

      Patrick,

      Wow. Thanks for adding that. I didn’t even think of it that way, but you’re totally right. Awesome insight! 🙂

      Glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed putting it together.

      Best regards.

      Reply
  2. retirebyforty says

    January 21, 2020 at 1:16 pm

    This is pretty good. However, I think it only works for a certain personality type. I prefer to balance it out by adding some stuff and subtracting others. Sometime, I have to take the things I don’t like, but that’s life (for most regular people.) It’s working out beautifully for you so that’s great.

    Some stuff on my no list
    – A job I don’t like
    – A boss
    – Rush hour traffic
    – Very high density, too many people around.
    – High stress environment
    – Being nice to people I don’t like

    My list is actually pretty short. 🙂

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 22, 2020 at 1:39 am

      Joe,

      Hey, not too bad. A shorter list of things you don’t like certainly makes it easier on oneself. 🙂

      Best wishes.

      Reply
  3. Bob says

    January 21, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    Hi Jason I have not stopped by for a while, been off enjoying life 🙂
    When I read articles like this it reminds me of Jack Sparrow and his compass. Not sure if you ever saw the movies but the compass would only point to ” what you really want” Jack could never get it to work LOL. Im sure most people never even got what that meant.
    Making a NO list is a great way to get to were you really want to be.
    BTY Charlie Munger is one of my favorite people I was watching a rare interview with Warren and Charlie. Warren said I like Charlie but he has no filters 🙂
    Hope all is well at your new place in life.
    Bob

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 22, 2020 at 1:40 am

      Bob,

      I agree. Making this kind of list eliminates a lot of “noise” and allows you to really focus in on what you enjoy in life. 🙂

      Cheers!

      Reply
  4. Paul N says

    January 21, 2020 at 4:43 pm

    This kind of reminds me of this old comedy Movie “HERO” from 1992 with some lines that stuck with me. Dustin Hoffman plays “Bernie” : He’s trying to give his kid advice here…

    Bernie LaPlante : “You remember when I said how I was gonna explain about life, buddy? Well the thing about life is, it gets weird. People are always talking ya about truth. Everybody always knows what the truth is, like it was toilet paper or somethin’, and they got a supply in the closet. But what you learn, as you get older, is there ain’t no truth. All there is is bullshit, pardon my vulgarity here. Layers of it. One layer of bullshit on top of another. And what you do in life like when you get older is, you pick the layer of bullshit that you prefer and that’s your bullshit, so to speak.”

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 22, 2020 at 1:43 am

      Paul,

      Hmm. That’s pretty interesting. Another way to look at it is just to (try to) eliminate from your life the layers of what you would call “BS”. What’s left in life certainly won’t be rainbows and unicorns 24/7 (it’ll never be like that), but it is distilled down into something relatively enjoyable.

      It’s definitely worked for me. I used to have a job, a boss, high taxes, cold weather, etc. Wasn’t happy. Now I’m much happier.

      Best regards.

      Reply
  5. Mitchell C. says

    January 21, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    Great post Jason. Completely agree with you. Life gets better, and easier, the more you avoid situations you do not like.

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 22, 2020 at 1:50 am

      Mitchell,

      Absolutely. It’s like driving down the highway. If you can avoid the potholes and keep your trip relatively smooth, you should aim to do so. 🙂

      Cheers.

      Reply
  6. Mike H says

    January 22, 2020 at 6:58 am

    Hi Jason,

    What you’ve done here is express a very powerful concept. Charlie Munger said a good way to solve problems is to invert them. So instead of finding happiness make a list of all the things that make you unhappy and stay away from them.

    Sometimes this actually works. But if one is the kind of person to naturally find criticism or fault with things (and that’s kind of how we are wired) then happiness will remain elusive even with avoiding the things that make you overtly unhappy.

    Hope you are doing well there in world-class Kuala Lumpur.

    -Mike

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 22, 2020 at 8:46 am

      KL,

      World-class KL. You know it, buddy! 😉

      Yeah, I thought this was genius from Munger. I obviously took his concept and ran with it in a happiness/QOL way, but I think he’d approve of the rationale. It’s along the same lines of how he approaches many things in life.

      You’re definitely right, though. If you’re a negative person, this probably won’t work. But if that’s who you are, nothing will work. That requires a pretty good look in the mirror and major adjustment on how you look at the world.

      Thanks for stopping in!

      Best wishes.

      Reply
  7. DGX Capital says

    January 22, 2020 at 3:48 pm

    Hey Jason,

    I think it’s a great idea having a “No” list as it really does offer some perspective on the quality of life. Sometimes you have to step back and see the forest and not the trees.

    One of the things on my no list would be to work longer hours for more pay. What’s the point of making that much more when you have no time and energy left to spend on the things that would truly add value to your life.

    Best,
    DGX Capital

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 23, 2020 at 12:59 am

      DGX,

      Agreed. It offers the opportunity to step back and gain some perspective. Forest and not the trees, indeed. And once you kind of clear the “brush” from that forest, you’re able to focus on nurturing the healthy trees. 🙂

      Best regards.

      Reply
  8. Backpack Finance says

    January 23, 2020 at 5:04 am

    Hey Jason,
    Great post as usual. I really like the concept of a “no list”. I actually tried creating some sort of “bucket / happy” list and just gave up at some point. I kept increasing this list, tinkering with it, removing stuff, adding, etc. A “no list ” is much easier to create and maintain. I’m also guessing I would just be content with anything that comes my way as long as it is not on my “no list”.
    Cheers.

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 23, 2020 at 7:02 am

      BF,

      Absolutely. As Munger notes, it’s often the things we avoid or don’t do that bring us the most success in life. It kind of defies belief, but that’s how it tends to work in life. Avoiding the things you dislike means you’ll end up gravitating toward the things you do like by default.

      Cheers!

      Reply
  9. Rara says

    January 24, 2020 at 1:11 pm

    Nice write-up. The best way I’ve heard this concept described by the Happy Philosopher in a post called Alligators and Kittens. It really drove the point home.

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 25, 2020 at 1:15 am

      Rara,

      Thanks!

      A lot of different ways to look at it. But I think it’s a really useful method to build out a happier and more meaningful life. 🙂

      Best regards.

      Reply
  10. financialvelociraptor says

    January 24, 2020 at 1:53 pm

    Brother, testify!

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 25, 2020 at 1:15 am

      fv,

      I’m all over it. 🙂

      Cheers!

      Reply
  11. Anonymous says

    January 24, 2020 at 5:17 pm

    My no list? No alarm clock/job is #1. And it will come to fruition before the end of 2021. Perhaps within 13 months.

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 25, 2020 at 1:17 am

      Anonymous,

      That’s huge. Waking up and starting my day without a blaring noise at an ungodly hour has a massive impact on my psyche. Can’t recommend it enough. 🙂

      Good luck getting there within the next year or so.

      Best wishes.

      Reply
  12. Anonymous says

    January 26, 2020 at 1:41 am

    Totally agree! There aren’t too many things that will make you permanently happy, there are plenty that will make you permanently depressed.

    Reply
    • Jason Fieber says

      January 26, 2020 at 2:36 am

      Anonymous,

      Absolutely. I live a very content life these days. But it’s not so much because I’m doing cartwheels down the street on my way to the coffee shop or gym. It’s rather because I don’t have to deal with a bunch of miserable experiences that constantly bring me down. It’s happiness as a default setting after the deductions have taken place. 🙂

      Best regards.

      Reply

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Hi. I'm Jason Fieber. I achieved financial independence and retired in my early 30s by using dividend growth investing to my advantage. I cover stock analyses, market news, dividend updates, and the dividend growth investing strategy.

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